I’d circle back to that video footage comment soon enough, but for now we needed to help our golden boy. The heat of his skin scorched me briefly, and I sighed in relief when it started to cool.
Hunter slid down Kellan’s left side, his arm draping over my back, as he held both of us.
I shuddered at the sensation. Being hugged so thorough still shocked my system, until I let myself fall into the sensation, allowing a whole bunch of warm gooey feelings to spread from my center. I was supposed to be cooling Kellan down, but this was the healthy sort of heat.
One built of care and…more.
When Slade moved closer, my breath caught in my lungs. Everything stopped moving—I was fairly sure the world stopped spinning.
“Do not move,” he warned as the hard muscles of his body slid down Kellan’s left side. He was so huge that he had to touch me when he touched our fallen alpha, and I choked back a guttural sound when his arm landed on my back, flexing right below Hunter’s.
The sensation of his weight pressing me into the unconscious alpha was too much, and in my head I started counting to a million, attempting to get myself under control so I didn’t moan or have a spontaneous orgasm. Which would be highly inappropriate considering the circumstances.
At least both alphas kept their pants on, which was for the best when it came to my shaky self-control.
As I continued to mentally count, Hunter chuckled softly, but for once refrained from revealing whatever had amused him. No doubt there was more than one facet to our current situation to find humor in.
I remained tense and off-kilter as I counted like it was my life’s work, only starting to relax around the time the heat finally left Kellan’s body. Hunter and Slade remained silent on either side, surrounding me in their scents and energy.
I had no idea why I wanted to cry as I lay there, feeling safer and more terrified than I ever had in my life, but there was no denying the burn behind my eyes.
Finley not being part of the pack huddle flickered momentarily through my counting haze, but after everything he’d said and done, it was hard to imagine ever being comfortable enough to cuddle with the bear. My feelings toward him were convoluted and unsure, but deep in my heart I admitted that there might be too much history now for us to ever be more than distant acquaintances.
Finley still needed a few high fives. To the face. With a chair.
I understood that I’d hurt him with my actions, and I regretted my blunt dismissal of the pack when we first met, but Finley’s trauma went so much deeper than my rejection. His healing needed to begin with his past, long before he met me, and I refused to be his punching bag on his way to peace.
It was around a thousand in my counting that I finally fell asleep, snuggled between three alphas. When I woke later, unsure what time it even was, the room was completely dark and Hunter was wrapped around one side of me, with…what the fuck?Vanilla and cherries hit me right in the face, and there was enough light in the room to glimpse golden hair and brown skin.
Finley… was here.
Unlike Slade, he didn’t wrap his arm over my back, but he was close enough that our bodies touched, his energy and heat different to the fever Kellan had been fighting.
Part of me wanted to escape.
To crawl out from under Hunter’s hold and race from this roomandfrom this ache in my chest. It was a vise squeezing me until I felt like I’d explode into pieces. The longer I remained where I was, though, the more clarity broke through my panic. There was none of the usual tension that existed whenever Finley and I were close, as if in sleep he couldn’t hold on to his anger. It was peaceful as both alphas slumbered soundly on either side of me, their breaths deep and even, their hearts calmly beating in sync.
Prying my gritty eyes open—I had not slept nearly long enough—I lifted my head from Kellan’s chest and met Slade’s gaze, who was sprawled in the chair, watching the four of us closely.
“He never sleeps,” he said, his voice softer than usual. His expression was as well, as if facets of this scene had pierced his coldly contained emotions.
My gaze flickered toward Finley’s face, which was mostly hidden by the arm he had thrown up over his head, as if he slept the same way toddlers did. From what I could see, though, he did look peaceful.
Slade shifted closer, resting his elbows on his knees. “His family were particularly good at subtle tortures. Never letting him sleep easily was one of their favorites. Even now, after years of being safe from them, he remains in a constant state of fight or flight.”
The more of his past that was revealed, the more concessions I made for Finley and his shitty behavior. Of all the alphas, he was the one who understood what I’d suffered from my mother.On the other hand, that also made his reaction toward methat much worse.
It wasn’t that I was comparing our upbringings, because it wasn’t a competition, and he’d clearly had it worse. But I did understand. I ached at the thought that what should have been shared experiences to bond over had turned into the trauma that kept us apart.
I had no doubts that his pack barely knew a fraction of what he’d gone through, except for Slade, who would have hacker-spied his way through all their pasts.
“How did you know my birthday?” I asked, desiring a glimpse of his secrets too. “It’s not recorded anywhere, and I absolutely did not tell any of you, so… how?”
Had the dragon shifter uncovered anything else about me? Did he know the circumstances of my mom’s death? Did he know everything, and I’d kept this stupid secret for no reason at all?
CHAPTER 23
EMME
