He ran a hand over his short beard, and I swore I caught a brief glimpse of a brittle smile before he wiped it away. “You rejected us, Icy the Ice Queen. Or did you forget the part where you refused us like we were nothing. I don’t see why you’d think I’d welcome you with open arms. Honestly, I kind of wish you’d never come into our lives and brought all of this… pain… with you. But it would destroy Kellan if you left him now, so I won’t drive you away. Even if I can’t imagine us ever being more than simply pack mates.”
Pack mates was better than enemies, but if I was alsobeing honest,it bothered me to hear his dismissiveness of anything more between us in the future. Even thoughI didn’t want anything more.Or more accurately, I couldn’t want more.
“You need to tell us everything you know about your mother’s pack,” Slade said, steepling his hands in front of him and peering over the tips. “We need all the information at our disposal to effectively deal with them.”
None of the guys were eating yet, so I kept picking at my food in the hopes they’d take the hint and eat their share. “I was young when my mom met them. I had no idea who my father was, and I don’t remember much about my years before the pack, only that we moved a lot. Like… every few months we’d be in a new place. Mom was always cold with me, almost like shehated or resented me, and it only got worse when she met the Rogers pack.”
“They were already formed?” Hunter asked, and I nodded, chewing through a turkey meatball I’d generously dipped in red sauce.
“Yep, fully formed, and at least twenty years older than her. She wasn’t the first to be part of their quintet. They’d had an omega female lion shifter who’ddiedfrom lupine flu many years before they met us. Another omega death under their care.”
At least that was their story. Lupine flu was a legitimate disease, and one of the few that affected all shifters. While it originated in wolves, it didn’t discriminate as it evolved to be able to infect all of our kind. But I had my doubts that was the truth for the Rogers pack.
“How did your mom meet them?” Slade continued. “I could not find much of a history within the shifter cities for you and your mom, but the pack has an old record, then a gap when I assume they were with you, and then back to the cities over the past twelve years. It was as if they knew to keep you and your mom hidden… but why?”
“I have no idea how she met them,” I said, having eaten through most of my plate by now. Thankfully, the alphas were eating now too. “She left me home alone all the time, even when I was a toddler. We lived in this dingy little basement room, and one day she left, and when she returned she told me to pack up my shit because we were moving. The next thing I knew we were in a dingy apartment.” I met Slade’s gaze. “That one I told you about with the mechanic’s workshop below. We lived there with the pack for years, without even moving once.”
“Your mom lived with them for years, and yet you still blame them for her death?”
The harsh statement slammed me in the gut, and I almost lost the food I’d just eaten. Keeping my gaze firmly locked onthe white tablecloth, I took a few fortifying breaths before I faced Finley. “Not that I owe you any explanation, but I’m going to give you one so you can have a rest from being angsty and broken. After Mom bonded with them, the abuse started. It was subtle at first, but as with everything, it escalated. As an omega, she could ignore the commands of dominance, but as a bonded omega, she didn’t want to. She gave every part of herself to those assholes, until eventually it killed her.”
Finley shot to his feet, his food all but untouched. “We’re nothing like them. We’ve never shown one ounce of violence or abuse toward you.”
Debatable, depending on how you looked at it, since I wasn’t exactly free to leave. But I understood his sentiment—the Reeves pack was vastly different to the Rogers pack.
The two weren’t even comparable.
“They didn’t show any violence or abuse toward her at first either,” I bit out, knowing that wasn’t completely true. They’d never showed the caring my pack had either, even in the early days. “Their alpha sides were corrupted by the omega energy—” I skirted as close as I could to the truth “—and I might do the same to you. I refuse to take her life path. I refuse this fate’s design. I refuse to be a victim.”
Finley examined me for many long seconds, and I couldn’t manage to calm the heaving of my chest. “My mom was truly evil,” he told me in a soft, shattered voice. His dark lashes lowered to briefly hide whiskey depths of pain and fury. “She killed my father right in front of me, and then my brother.” With each revelation, I felt as frozen as the Ice Queen he called me. “She kept me trapped for days, torturing me within an inch of my life. Over and over, until I prayed to die.” The bitter laughter that escaped him had me thawing, but only to feel the jolts of pain in my chest. “That week ended years of physical and psychological abuse. Of being abandoned by those who weresupposed to unconditionally love me. While I survived, I made sure she didn’t.”
I didn’t believe his expression could get any stonier, but he proved me wrong as he stepped away from the table. “I also made myself a promise, just as you did when your mom died. I promised to never let anyone else into my life who was so careless with the emotions of others. Who had everything and destroyed it without thought or care. You’re tarring us with the same brush as your mom’s alpha pack, and now I’m returning the favor. You mean the same to me as my mom did. Nothing.”
When he left the room, I stared at the empty spot as if his energy lingered long after he was gone. I’d been well aware that Finley disliked me, that much was apparent, but the depths of his hatred went far beyond the usual. It went far beyond my reach.
CHAPTER 15
EMME
“I’ll speak with him.” Hunter’s rumble brought me back to reality, and I shook my head, unsure if I’d be able to get any words out.
A few sips of wine helped loosen my muscles. “No, it’s okay. He’s entitled to his feelings, especially when I haven’t been the warmest or most inviting pack mate. Not to mention, we have more important shit to worry about.”
Finley wasn’t wrong; I had tarred them with the same brush as my mom’s pack, and it wasn’t because I thought they were bad alphas. It was due to the deterioration of the Rogers pack over the years as they siphoned their omega’s energy. No pack was immune from the effects of power overload.
“Finley’s emotional damage is heavily scarred into his soul,” Slade said, and I couldn’t get a read from his tone if he was excusing or condemning Finley’s behavior. “What he told you was but a fraction of what he experienced growing up.”
If there was one childhood scar I understood, it was internal emotional damage. I’d felt that connection to Finley from the first second I stared into his eyes. Unfortunately, my emotional damage had triggered his, and now we were at an impasse.
“Anyway, back to Mom’s pack,” I said airily, as if everyone couldn’t hear the way my heart hammered in my chest. “They were quite powerful when she was alive, and even more so after her death. Don’t underestimate them. You’re right that they kept us hidden away, and I don’t know if it was for the same reason that Mom moved us constantly before that, or because they didn’t want anyone to know how they treated their omega. Either way, they’re bad news. I can’t help with any allies or magical connections though—there was no one when I was with them. At least no one they brought around me.”
Hunter leaned forward. “Could they be using magic to increase their alpha energy? It can’t be natural, or they’d have registered it with the councils. We’re the only powerful, all alpha pack registered. I double checked when we returned home.”
Slade’s expression was contemplative as he played with his crystal glass. “It didn’t feel like magical manipulation. There was a true shifter power in their dominance, which doesn’t explain why they’re not registered. The two on the council are listed as having a mid-level dominance, which is clearly not the case. Their magical connection is the oddest part. The last time witches aided in destruction like this, it was the Termaine War.”
Termaine was the coven of witches who’d helped initiate a war almost two decades ago. Even I’d heard of it after listening in on my mom and her pack discussing it in whispered words. I didn’t know much outside of it being a means to overthrow the Alpha Councils. An unknown alpha had gathered a group of witches and rogues to help him destroy the current way and return shifters to a single alpha ruler. Most of those involved in this insurgency were killed in the ensuing battle, but the ringleader was never found.
“Do you think they have more than one witch at their disposal?” I asked, hoping that wasn’t the case.
