In the end, my curiosity got the better of me. Maybe it was my mom wanting to finally break free, and if that was the case, I’d do whatever it took to help her. There was no forgiveness in my heart, but I wouldn’t turn my back on her like she’d done to me.
“Hello,” I said shortly.
There was a slight pause. “Uh, hello. My name is Nurse Nancy from the Provincial Hospital of Townsend. Sorry to call you like this, Mr. Silver, but we have your grandfather here. Jeremiah Townsend.”
Good. Hopefully the old bastard was dying. “Yes, okay. What does that have to do with me? How did you even get this number?”
She swallowed hard, her voice a touch shaky. “Your mom gave it to us. Your grandfather is dying and needs a liver transplant. We’ve exhausted our options for a donor, and your mom mentioned that you’re biologically related to Mr. Townsend and could be a match. Would you be willing to get tested, Mr. Silver?”
If this nurse had reached through the phone and punched me in the nuts, I’d have been less shocked and hurt. “My mom thought I’d be inclined to save that sick fuck’s life?” I laughed because it was just so ridiculous.
Another pause. “Um, well, we just have to do our best to—” My laughter faded into a furious growl that cut her off, and she cleared her throat quickly. “Look, you’re more than welcome to visit with Mr. Townsend and talk with the doctors about both the testing procedure and the actual surgery should you decide to dona—”
I hung up the phone. I’d heard enough to sate my curiosity, and now all I wanted to do was rage and smash this room to pieces. The lamp was in my hand about to be punted at the damn wall, when I took a deep breath and instead hit the voice chat symbol for Dr. Candance. It was convenient to be able to leave her chats, and she could get back to me between clients. I paid her well for this service, and it was worth every fucking cent.
“Doc,” I started shortly, the lamp shaking in my hand. “Just got a call from the hospital in my hometown. My grandfather is dying and needs a liver transplant, and apparently, they think I’m the only match.” Fucking typical. “I’m kind of flipping out here. I don’t know what to do, and my need to smash up this room and smash down a bag of coke is at peak levels.”
The fact that I’d chosen instead to chat with her told me that I was still making progress. I even managed to unclench my fists and release the lamp back to its home on the bedside table.
A beat later my phone rang, and with that sound, rage rose once more until I glanced down to see the doc’s number flashing.Thank fuck.
“Hey,” I said, answering immediately. “You didn’t have to call.”
Her laugh was low and calming. “This sort of situation warrants a call. A face-to-face session would be even better, but I get the sense you’re about to jump into a car and drive to Townsend, so this is the best we have.”
That made me pause. “I don’t want to go there, doc. I don’t want to see any of them, and I don’t give a fuck if he’s dying. I really don’t.”
If anything, this was good news.
“I understand,” she said, validating my feelings. “You are absolutely entitled to ignore that call, forget the past, and keep moving forward. You have all my support and guidance toward that end goal, but do you wonder if part of you will hold onto this moment if you don’t walk into that hospital room, finally face your past, and put it to rest. Completely.”
My sigh was long and drawn out as I fought for composure. Dr. Candace had warned me that to truly move forward, I might have to face some of the demons in my past. Literally face them, in some way. And I’d just kept hoping that would never turn out to be the case. But here we were with the perfect opportunity to say what I needed to both of them and then walk away and never look back.
“You’re right,” I said reluctantly, and she managed not to laugh again at my tone. “Again. I’m just not sure how I’ll react when I see them both again. Will I feel like a helpless, terrified child once more, or will the power they’ve held over me for decades finally be gone?”
Her tone grew even kinder, if that was possible, and I let the calming influence sink into my soul. “No one can answer that for you, Rhett,” she started. “But I promise that whatever happens in that room, you will be equipped with the skills you need to face your past, feel the pain, and then grow from the entire experience. Whatever hold they still have, however minor it might be, might be nullified in a single moment. Well, that moment and then all the hours of therapy after.”
This time she did laugh, and I joined her because that line was the epitome offunny cause it’s true.
“So, I should go and deal with him,” I confirmed. “This isn’t going to send me spiraling?”
“You’ll spiral,” she told me quickly. “But it won’t be the same. It’ll be gentler; it’ll have more clarity. It’ll be facing the demons as a very successful, loved adult, versus a scared, alone, and vulnerable teenager. You need to see the difference, Rhett. You need to see and grow from it.”
She was right. I knew it deep in that painful pit of my past that still existed in my chest. The pit she had been helping to fill, but a part of it would always remain like an open wound until I faced them.
Just… rip the Band-Aid off. I needed this. The old fuck dying offered me the exact opening I needed to finally find some closure and put the past in the past.
“I’ll call you when I’m done,” I said, before closing my eyes and taking a fortifying breath. “Thank you for calling.”
“Any time, Rhett. Let me know how it goes, and send a chat whenever you need a little helping hand.”
“Will do, doc. Talk soon.”
When she hung up, I took a few more deep breaths before I got my ass out of bed and headed into the bathroom. Twenty minutes later I was dressed and ready to face the past so that I might have a fucking future.
Speaking of, as I stepped into the living area, my future was there, curled up on the couch, napping just as I had been before my life was brutally smashed into once more. Someone had taken the time to cover Billie with a throw, and I just watched her breathe for a few seconds, wishing with everything inside me that I could crawl in beside her and lose myself in her.
Billie was a very big part of the reason I was determined to claw my way out from under the shadows of my past, and for her, I’d face these fucking demons. Face and slay.
