And now I had to wonder if I was the one who was about to commit murder. I was already a homewrecker, might as well add the title of murderer to it.
“Angelo and I don’t really talk,” I said stiffly, arms starting to ache from how tightly I was holding them against my chest. “Not anymore.” Because we used to. We used to talk abouteverything.
Her eyes flitted down to my stomach once more, but she was classy enough not to add any comment likeI can see that talking is the last thing you get up toor something similar.
“Angelo and I are married in name only,” she said quickly as she once again met my gaze. Sincerity bled from her, which was disconcerting. “I hate being part of this mafia family, and he’s my shield against the depravity of the world. If I hadn’t been married off to him, I would have been to someone else. Someone probably way worse. Men in our world aren’t typicallykind.”
Her face implored me to believe her, and despite my better judgment, I did.
“So, you’ve never been… uh… you know. In love?”
I already knew they didn’t live together. I’d been staying at the Ricci compound for months, and not once had Valentina even visited. Angelo had said she was in Italy, and I’d accepted that, but the house didn’t hold one of her personal items. I’d been through every damn room, and there was no sign of her presence.
She shook her head, a strangled laugh escaping. “I have a girlfriend who is my whole life. She’s a secret though, and I pray that you will take that as seriously as I am taking your safety. If my father finds out that I’m gay, he will murder meandher. That’s not just a saying, but a fact. I wasn’t always the Altissimo heir.”
That she’d so willingly shared that with me was a huge indication that she’d approached me tonight with the right intentions. I mean, if I told anyone, no doubt she could have me knocked off in seconds, but it was still a risk.
Or it would be, if I was an asshole like any one of the other women at this stupid fucking party. Lucky for Valentina, I considered myself to have a shred of decency.
“I’ll never breathe a word,” I promised, some of the tension releasing from my body. “I’m so sorry you can’t be with the person you love, like you deserve. No one should ever have to hide their heart.”
Her lips quivered and her eyes watered as she cleared her throat. “My life was predetermined before birth. I’m well used to the role I must play to survive, all the while hoping one day there will be a path to freedom. Maybe with my father’s death. Maybe it won’t be until my own death. But one day, by some means, I’ll be free of this cage.”
The urge to cross to her and hug her trembling body was strong, but I resisted. We weren’t friends. But maybe one day we could be.
“I’m sorry if I’m making life harder for you,” I said, finally letting my arms fall to my sides. I also took a deep breath, filling my lungs properly for the first time since she’d entered the bathroom. “Angelo and I have an arrangement, but I never wanted that to come at a risk to you.”
She waved me off before she delicately wiped at the moisture under her eyes. Somehow, she didn’t smudge her makeup or look like a hot mess. Sorceress. “There’s no risk to me. If there’s one thing the Altissimo family understands, it’s mistresses and children out of wedlock. It was made clear to me more than a year ago that Angelo had both families’ consent to take a mistress, if it meant a baby would be made. And honestly, my father had already written me off as infertile after all these years without me getting pregnant. He has no idea that I’ve never evenseenAngelo’s dick, let alone touched it.” She shuddered like the idea of Angelo’s cock made her nauseous.
The surge of relief I felt at that was strong, and I would not be examining why. Nope. Today I lived in denial.
“I honestly had many expectations when it came to meeting you,” I told her with a shake of my head. A small laugh escaped. “Many of them ended in bloodshed.” Another laugh. “Actually, all of them did. I never for one moment thought this was how it would go.”
Valentina let out a chuckle of her own. “I’m just sorry that I can’t control the rest of my family. I have to keep playing the game, which includes allowing them to believe I’m heartbroken by your appearance in A’s life. But I wanted you to know, in person, that I am so grateful that his one true love is back. He’s spoken a lot about you over the years, and even though he’s never said anything specific about your time together, it was always clear that he never got over you. I could tell.”
She was smiling gently, and at this point I was more uncomfortable than when I’d thought she was going to kill me. “Uh, I mean, we’re not even friends, let alone lovers.” Despite my pregnant belly between us. Crap. I gestured to the swell under my dress. “This is just a short-term solution to save us all in the long term.”
Her smile didn’t fade. “It wouldn’t matter the danger; Angelo would never make this kind of commitment with just anyone. Only you. Only his Bella. Besides, babies are hardlyshort term.” She laughed gently, but I couldn’t muster up even a smile in return.
My body burned as my heart pulsed faster, and the very visceral reaction I was having should alarm me. Angelo and I were an act, just like Angelo and Valentina were.
I couldn’t forget that, and I couldn’t fall into the falsely woven fairytale of us being long-lost loves.
The truth of it all was that I was just a temporary visitor in his life, and as soon as we figured out how to get around his father’s bloodthirsty nature, I’d be gone.
In the wind, just like I’d been eight years ago.
seven
GRAYSON
My fists slammed into the bag over and over without any control. Pure power and anger rode those punches, and I was throwing everything into it. A tearing sound registered a beat later and I saw that I’d smashed right through the cover, rags and sand pouring out around my hits.
Breathing heavily, I pulled back and fought to control the red tinging my vision. As the weeks had passed with very little information, teamed with the lack of movement in returning Billie to our lives, my mood had grown beyond fucked-up. The others were on their way here now so we could talk music, but my head was so far from the rock star game that I wondered if maybe I was done with this life.
If I didn’t have contractual obligations that, if unfulfilled, would cause issues for my band, I’d probably just walk away.
When the knock sounded on the front door, I left the small workout room, unwrapping my hands. The wraps were black, which hid the blood from all the new cuts across my knuckles. The boxing bag wasn’t the only object I’d broken recently.
