I could only guess that my mist was still in the Shadow Realm and out of my reach. Hopefully, once I found Shadow, he’d have all the final answers to the timeline that had begun after Dannie had swirled me back to Torma.
Inky, Sam, and Gaster stayed with me, right until we reached the lair portal. A portal that was still intact despite the complete destruction everywhere else. Hello, second clue.
“This is as far as you can go,” I said to Sam. “Shadow is very particular about who enters his lair, and he’s obviously a little out of control, so let’s not test him today.”
She nodded, nervously worrying at her bottom lip. “I understand. I’ll stay here and help Gaster ferret out more books that can be saved.”
A woman after my own heart. “We’ll make the Shadow Bastard fix my library, don’t worry.”
She didn’t laugh, and I didn’t blame her. This entire situation was the stuff midlife crises were made of.
Gaster stepped closer, and I read the worry in his orb-like eyes. “Be safe,” he finally said. “Don’t trust that this is the same being you knew. His power and anger destroyed a library and Solaris System that have been part of him for thousands of years. You have your work cut out for you, Mera Callahan.”
I hugged him.
At first, he was surprised, but within a few seconds, his body relaxed against mine. I finally remembered why none of the powerful creatures here liked to hug: because they feared their energy being stolen by another. Gaster, despite his diminutive stature, was a being of great power and intellect, and his reticence when it came to touching was no different to the others.
I was the only one they let into their personal space, and because of that, I gave them hugs as freely as I could. “Please don’t die,” Gaster said against my shoulder. “Your light makes the world much brighter for us all. I truly missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” I said, straightening. “More than I can say. It was like a part of my soul died when Dannie stole my memories, and I won’t get that part back until we fix it all.”
He nodded, taking a moment to compose himself before he stepped away from me. “Best of luck with your mission, Mera Callahan.”
I shot him a cheeky smile. “You got it, Gaster. Also, can you look after Sam for me? Maybe you can find a way to communicate with her?”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
When I repeated that to my new friend, she waved me off. “We’ll figure it out. Miming always works.”
Unable to resist the tugging in my center any longer, I finally followed my heart’s—and soul’s—desire and stepped toward the portal. I had no idea what I was about to find on the other side, but not even a million insane goddesses could have stopped me from walking through.
Inky, the only one permitted to enter with me, stayed right behind me as I reached out a hand. The moment my fingers touched the barrier, a zap knocked me back a few steps.
What in the hell?
Peering closer, I finally noticed that the portal was laced through with tiny specks of fire; Shadow had upped his barriers. Thankfully, my own powers were free now, and I knew exactly how to access my fire.
Without any effort, I drew the flames protectively around my skin, hearing a low gasp from behind me. Sam would no doubt have some questions for me when I returned.IfI returned.
This time when I placed my hand into the barrier, the zap of electricity raced across my skin like an old friend. I had missed that zap so badly, relishing in the feel of it tingling over my skin and sliding through my body to settle between my legs, hot and heavy and aching.
Shadow.
With the whisper of his name in my head, I pushed harder against the portal’s security, until the resistance faded, and I was finally able to step through. Inky remained with me, and it was comforting to have my buddy there.
Especially when the lair came into view.
I’d been expecting the worst after seeing the Library of Knowledge, preparing myself for more destruction, but… that wasn’t the case in the lair. Taking a step into the darkness, my wolf rose up to help me see, and it still took me a moment to figure out what he’d done.
The lack of light in here was a combination of shadows and mists, layered over every surface by the Shadow Beast himself. He’d created a web of darkness, designed to trap and destroy any who entered its midst.
My fire, which had died down across my skin, flared again, giving me the ability to both see and cut through the web of shadows. The room was icy cold as I moved deeper into it, and I had the sense that if I were any normal human or shifter, the cold would have killed me.
Even as it was, with literal fire burning around me, my breath still puffed out in a visible cloud before me. Inky pressed closer as we both felt the beating heart of another deep in this cave of death.
Gaster hadn’t been wrong about Shadow.
He was no longer my beast. He was the truebeastof shifter nightmares. The creature who stalked us in the night and destroyed any who crossed his path. And maybe a year ago that truth would have had me turning tail and running like a scared bitch, but after all I’d been through with Shadow, I’d never give up on him now.
