I wouldn't survive eight days of that. Uriel knew it too.
Hugging my arms around myself, I peered out my apartment window at the complex, just as I had done every night. I had to escape. I had to find Jordan and make sure he was even still alive... Rafe could handle himself, I had no doubt. But Jordy was the one they kept threatening me with. He was the one in immediate danger. I'd royally fucked up that first day when I’d screamed at them for leniency toward him. I'd shown my weakness, and they were using it against me.
I stood there for longer than I usually did, lost within my own mind as I planned my escape. Long enough that when my door clicked open, I was still standing there instead of "asleep" in bed like normal.
"You're awake," Uriel commented, striding across the room to stand at my back. Way, way too close at my back. "Can't quiet your mind, little one?"
The thread of satisfaction in his voice turned my stomach. He'd been letting himself into my room every night, but had been content to just sit beside my bed and watch me for an hour before sneaking out again. He always thought I was asleep, but I never was.
"Something like that," I murmured back, not looking at him.
He stroked a hand over my hair, and I tensed. Everything about him made me sick, thanks to the clarity of time, distance, and maturity. He'dpreyedon me as a vulnerable child. Yet some dark, damaged part of me wanted to lean back into his touch. The scarred soul within me craved his affection and his approval.
My sensei must have sensed that wavering within me, and he pressed in closer. His whole body touched me, his breath hot on my neck. "I have big plans for us, Rose. I'm so glad you haven't made things more difficult than they needed to be."
My jaw clenched, but I didn't argue with him. It was pointless when it would only undo all the hard work I'd put into making him believe me to be compliant.
Uriel swept my messy ponytail aside and pressed his lips to my neck, causing disgust to crawl all over me like a thousand spiders. Still, I kept my gaze locked on the window. Or rather, on the compound. A few black-uniformed guys walked across the grass, and one turned to look up at me.
My heart stopped.
No, it wasn't possible. My mind was playing tricks on me from all the conditioning they'd been putting me through, I knew that. But fuck if my heart hadn't reacted too quickly, giving me a glimmer of hope. Because I could have sworn that Society soldier was the spitting image of Rafe.
My first instinct was to lurch forward, press my hands to the glass, and get as close as I could to see every line of that soldier's face. But I couldn't alert Uriel to the fact that I was interested in anything out there. I had to look again, though, and this time the soldier was gone.
I forced my heart to calm.
Uriel was close enough to have felt my pulse spike, but hopefully he assumed it was due to his close proximity. Raising his suspicions in any way was inadvisable.
"How much longer are you going to condition me?" I asked softly. I needed to kick-start the next part of his plan because I couldn't deal with another day of those videos. I knew he'd have a list of training he was working through; Uriel was nothing if not thorough.
"We'll discuss that tomorrow," he said softly. "Now you need to rest, unless you'd like me to join you?"
That was the point where I could fake it no longer. For a second, fury clenched my fists, and I was about to spin and strike him where he stood. But a knock at the door halted my swing just in time.
"Yes?" Uriel called out, sounding annoyed.
"Sir," a female voice called, "there've been sightings of mainstream resistance in our territories. I figured you would want to know."
Uriel cursed and shook his head. "Those weak bastards," he muttered. "Never leave well enough alone."
He started to march toward the door, turning back to me once. "Get some sleep, Rose. You're going to need to be at your best tomorrow."
Then he was gone, and I let out a slow, shaky breath. There was a battle coming between us, and I knew deep down I probably could not best him. But I would die before I let him touch me again.
That was my promise to Rafe and Jordan.
It was my promise to myself.
Chapter 7
It wasn't until many minutes after Uriel left that I fully registered what had called him away. At first I'd just been relieved that it was one more night I didn't have to deal with him, especially that fucked up comment about joining him in bed. But they'd mentioned mainstream resistance.
That was the side that Rafe and Jordan were part of.
Could that mean Rafewasactually out there?
But how would he have made it to that part of the resistance when he'd been kidnapped by Uriel's division?
