Neither of them looked angry. If anything, their faces softened.
"We understand and know that it won’t be easy just to fall into a family dynamic," Deloria said. "We regret that we had to push you away when you were born, missing so much of your life." She choked up and my father put his arm around her in a comforting manner. I had only seen them a few times, but he was consistently gentle with her. I’d always wondered if it was just an act—powerful men usually weren’t gentle. It wasn’t in their nature.
I guess I had the Compass quads to compare to though, and with their mates they were unfailingly caring. So my father might be the same.
"How long will you stay?" Jepati asked. "We have so much to learn from you, and so much we want to show you in our lands."
"I will stay for as long as it takes," I told him, disconcerted by his emerald eyes. Deloria's were more hazel, with light green filtering into gold. But Jepati's were the twin of the eyes I'd seen every single day in the mirror until recently.
Eyes like perfect gems.
I cringed at that memory of the male voice mumbling over my eyes, his voice filled with desire. I'd learned to detest my eyes, and secretly loved that the color had changed with my transformation to a jeweled princess.
The emerald shade didn't seem so bad on my father, though, and maybe that was due to the slightly different shape, or tiny threads of amber that broke up his irises.
Or maybe it was just that I could look at the color objectively now and know it was not the reason I was abused. Therapy taught me that I needed to assign blame where it belonged and not on everything in my life. It allowed me to put some of my past into manageable places to be dealt with. Right now, I needed to acknowledge that I was focusing on eye color so I didn't have to focus on what was really standing before me.
My parents.
Staring at me.
Deloria, tears on her cheeks at the knowledge I was staying; and Jepati: fine lines framing his face. They were trying, in their own way—from what I knew anyway.
"I used to think about you a lot," I told them. "No one knew a single thing about where I came from, I didn't have a name or date of birth—it was all just made up by the people who found me. So I’d create these fantasy stories about who you really were."
This was a heavy conversation to have out in the open, ruby residents doing their thing around us—cleaning the streets, chatting to their neighbors, and using gems to power their world. Most were in the distance and hadn't noticed us yet, but they'd soon realize the "royals" were close by, and they would naturally gravitate closer. I'd seen it before.
The way they watched and smiled and bowed at me was very disconcerting.
"I—" Deloria cleared her throat. "I wish I could take it all back."
"We saved her life," Jepati said with more force, not quite interrupting his mate.
Deloria gained some fire and spun on him. "We did. But we could have worked it a little better so that she wasn't literally thrown into the wild. What if she’d died before her powers kicked in? It was an ill thought out plan."
Their gazes clashed and I had this weird, brief hope that maybe some of my own fire was genetic and not just environmentally created. I wanted to think I had some personality traits that were from them.
"Yes, you're right," Jepati said, visibly calming. His mate placed her hand on his chest, and it was obvious that their bond was strong.
"It was a terrible situation, and the blame lies in so many places,” she said. “But we need to start looking forward to the future. I don't want us to stop dealing with the past, but leaving the hurt behind is an important part of moving forward.”
It was easy for her to say;. Most of the hurt was mine; they were trapped as statues for a few decades…
"Were you aware when you were trapped?"
Maybe they had suffered more than I thought. I’d heard some accounts from others, but I wanted to know what it was like for them.
Deloria nodded. "Yes. For a long time, but eventually my mind slowed and shut down. A small sliver of me remained alive, but the rest was in a … a coma-like state."
"Same for me," Jepati said.
"I'm glad," I said after a pause. "I can’t think of much worse than being trapped like that for years and still being aware." I wasn't claustrophobic, but the thought had me feeling queasy.
As I’d predicted, the ruby inhabitants finally noticed us, hurrying over to bow in front of my parents, shake their hands, and turn curious eyes on me. "It's very nice to meet you," I told two fey who had eyes the color of the sun.
If these were my people, I needed to ... be warmer. That was the entire point of me being here.
Embracing this life.
