I didn't need the warning, I loved Jessa almost as much as he did—no one could love as much as a true mate, it was literally in their DNA.
I would kill myself before I hurt her.
"Jessa babe," I said from between gritted teeth. My jaw was starting to ache, but it was helping for some reason. "I need you to step away. I'm having some trouble controlling my power."
Since the age of two, Jessa had been a pain in the ass, a loveable, cute as hell, pain in the ass. So, of course, she didn’t listen to me. If anything, her hold grew tighter as she threw glares at Braxton whenever he tried to get closer.
"You're just not used to feeling the volatile powers," she told me, her face buried in the base of my neck like she used to do when we were younger and we'd sneak off needing a break from the angrier, stomp-around-like-assholes part of the Compass quads.
Apparently I was now the stomping asshole.
"I love you," she whispered, like she used to when I'd be upset with the world and not able to get those words out. If I were human, they would have probably diagnosed me with high functioning autism. I felt the emotions, I felt them so strongly at times, but they were locked inside of me, and I couldn't express them the same way that my brothers did. I thought it was a fey thing—they're naturally quite cold. But it was more than that.
It had been my quad-race nature warring with itself.
"Stop fighting it, brother," Maximus said. His energy had not joined our bond yet—only Braxton’s remained, slamming against mine—but he was close enough that I could feel his concern. "You can't win against yourself, not like this, so instead embrace the stronger emotions and learn how to manage them."
I closed my eyes, letting the fire burn within me, without allowing my body to change. Jessa lifted her head. "Yes, I can feel your power. Fuck, you're strong."
"I'm stronger," Braxton said, sounding almost annoyed, and I couldn't help the dark, strangled chuckle from escaping my lips.Dammit. They were helping. In their own fucked up way.
"I love you too," I said to Jessa, and it was obvious from my voice I was calmer. "Thanks for reminding me that there's another way. There's always another way."
In my younger years, during those times I couldn't get my emotions out, I’d tell her what I was feeling and she did the active expressions for me. If I was miserable, Jessa would cry, and if I was happy, she'd laugh and laugh. If I felt angry or frustrated, she'd curse the reason why as she kicked shit around screaming.
I’d love her forever for what she did for me; Jessa got me through many hard times. Eventually I’d learned how to laugh and cry on my own. Guess this next step—a true mate bond—was just a natural progression in dealing with my emotions. I could no longer avoid the reality of having a true mate in my life.
I didn’t even want to avoid it. I already felt like I was missing a fundamental part of myself.
Releasing Jessa, I set her on her feet. "She's gone," I said softly, and my brothers moved even closer, so the five of us formed a tight group. "She just left and it's my fucking fault."
Letting her go might have been the safest for her, but it wasn't the best. It didn’t feel right. Maybe it took her walking away for me to realize it, but I needed her with me so I could protect her.
That was my fucking reason for existing.
"Is she your true mate?" Tyson asked.
"I don't know for sure," I said, meeting his probing gaze, "but all the evidence points to yes. Neither of us seem to be in the right mental space to test it out, but we keep dancing around it anyway, and it's making us miserable."
Or at least I'd thought I was miserable, but now that she was actually gone, I truly understood the emotion. "I need to go after her," I decided. "She was super pissed, and I just let her leave. She told me she needed to learn about who she was before we could do anything, but we should be learning this shit together." My head swung back to Tyson. "Can Grace take me to the jeweled lands?"
Jessa dropped her hand on my chest, and the fact that Braxton hadn't tried to kill me yet spoke of how much he trusted her … and loved me. I could feel through our bond that he wasn't even that upset. His brothers were the only supes he would tolerate being this close to his mate though.
"I think you should give her time," Jessa told me. "I know I wouldn't normally say that, especially not with a potential true mate, but you both have shit to work out. She should have time with her parents, time to learn her true heritage. That's important and she might not focus on it if she's focusing on you. Not to mention you're in an ideal position to help us negotiate with the president."
Jessa was giving me the facts, and she wasn't wrong, but something deep inside told me it was a terrible idea to not chase after Justice. Not to mention my dragon was beyond restless and would make life very hard for me if I didn't listen to instinct.
"She'll be fine there, bro," Tyson said unhelpfully. My brother was a dense asshole at times. "Her parents have been dying to get to know her, and since she's royalty, the men aren't allowed to just come up and touch her and shit—"
He was cut off by an explosion nearby. Fuckin' hell!
I'd hurt the trees, something I'd tried so desperately not to do.
"Maybe you should just stop talking now," Jessa suggested dryly, staring at Tyson.
"Yep, probably for the best," he said, stepping back, hands held in the air. "Or the next fireball might be me."
Jessa snorted, before trying to choke down her laughter as she side-eyed me. I shook my head a little calmer after releasing that energy. I sent soothing water across the trees, following it with healing energy as I apologized for my mistreatment.
