Yeah, I’d worry about Calen more if I didn’t have my own issues to deal with.
“Protecting Maddison has been our goal from the start,” I reminded them. “The gods are not fucking around with this, and until I know the full extent of their plan, we have to be careful.”
We’d learned a lot over the past few weeks. We’d learned that the council of the gods was right now making a decision about Atlantis rising again, and until that was decided, the stasis over the city would remain. We had also learned that the Mother of the gods was stirring for the first time in ten thousand years. No doubt caused by Galindra and whatever she had planned.
“You didn’t keep your distance tonight,” Jesse said in a rumble of lion. “You kissed her, bro. We all saw it.”
Jesse cared too deeply for Maddison, but I couldn’t fault him. He’d been there for her multiple times when I couldn’t, and in my heart I knew he was probably a more stable mate for her. If I were a better supe, I’d give her up for Jesse. But I couldn’t do it. Not even for Maddison. I was just too fucking selfish, and I needed her. I craved her.
She was mine.
“I made a mistake,” I admitted roughly. “She just looked so beautiful tonight, and … happy. I needed one second to touch her.” I chuckled darkly. “My weakness is Maddison. It always has been.” The morose laughter faded as I stared out across the Academy, resting my elbows on the railings. “In truth, I’m not sure I can keep this up any longer. By protecting her, I’m also destroying her. Destroying us both. Galindra warned me that I could never have a mate, because my loyalty would only ever be to her. She wants my focus. My power. My strength to be hers and hers alone.”
It was fucking disturbing, the way she talked and touched me. Not like a mother. I’d been thankful with the city rising that she’d been too distracted to take it further, but it was only a matter of time before she pushed again. “Not just me … the five of us. She will kill anyone who gets in her way. We’ve been protecting Maddison, Ilia, and Larissa … we’ve had no fucking choice. But…”
I couldn’t keep it up.
“We still haven’t figured out how to take Galindra down though,” Rone reminded me, perched back on the railing, one leg up as he stared out as well. “The last spell you used was to destroy gods inhabiting supe bodies. It won’t work on gods in their own bodies. We need something stronger.”
I’d been searching, but the best I’d found was a spell to place a god into stasis. It was my backup plan though, because it would be very difficult to follow all the requirements of that particular spell. Besides, I wanted them dead. Never able to touch or threaten Maddison again.
“Maddison and her friends are strong, smart, and resourceful,” Axl said, sounding as fucked off as he had for the past few months. He’d agreed to my plan, but he hadn’t liked it. “By keeping her in the dark, you’ve lost an important ally in fighting this battle.”
Fuck.I slammed my hand against the post, rattling the side of the house. “You’re right. I know this. But you also didn’t see Galindra. You didn’t feel her power. She held me prisoner. I was completely at her mercy. If she didn’t think she needed me … needed us, she would flick her fingers and turn us into dust without a second thought.”
Something I’d seen her do to multiple supes and even a few lesser gods who got in her way.
“We’re missing something about the three of you though,” Axl added, his fingers moving like he was wishing for his magical pen and paper. “There was something about your births that scared the other gods. Scared the Mother of all, if you’re correct and she is the one who sank Atlantis. We need to figure out what that is, and splitting you three up is not the way to do it.”
He was right. I’d had that burning thought every single day since I was destroyed and reborn in the waters of my birth. “Everything inside me is saying you’re right,” I said to Axl, “but I’m scared that these feelings are because I crave Maddison. I fucking love her. Living without her like this is worse than death.”
If Galindra won this battle … if Maddison was taken from me, then I would figure out a way to follow, because an eternity walking this earth without my mate was not something I would even consider. Not for a single second.
Jesse stood and slapped a hand on my shoulder, and for the first time in a long time I felt like the five of us were in sync again. The bond between us hummed as if it was reiterating my feelings. “In this situation, I think we all need to be selfish,” he said. “The five of us can’t function without Maddison. We’re all fucking messes … you the most. I’m not sure you’ve slept more than two hours a night since you got back. It can’t keep going like this. It’s time to get Maddison back.”
He was right. And I was too selfish to fight it any longer.
“It’s not going to be as easy as that,” Rone said, sadness ringing in his words. The five of us had been morose assholes since we started trying to protect Maddison by distancing ourselves from her. “They hate us. She punched Asher tonight.”
A grin tipped up my lips. “Fucking hurt too. My little spitfire.”
I was so proud of her for standing her ground tonight. I deserved to get punched. I deserved a lot more than that.
“I’m going to find her and explain exactly what happened,” I decided. “Hopefully she’ll hear me out.”
“Use the pool as a bribe,” Rone suggested. “We know she snuck in while we were gone, so she must still be avoiding the ocean.”
Rage blurred my vision for a moment, and the sky above us darkened with my anger. It’d been doing that a lot lately. Just another new power to add to my fucking god arsenal. Something I’d give up in a heartbeat just to go back to my previous life with Maddison.
“We still haven’t confirmed who was in the water world that day,” I growled.
Axl stood a little straighter, stretching out his back. He’d been sleeping about as much as me lately, researching into the early hours of every morning. “My money is still on Sonaris. I’ve been studying all the gods and their powers closely, categorizing everything, and … he makes the most sense.”
He did, but why would he target Maddison. The gods were playing their fucked-up games, and we were caught up in the bullshit.
The sun started to rise as my impromptu storm died off, and I stepped back from the railing.
“This might be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” I admitted softly.
