Moving toward him, I let him wrap his spare arm around me, and when I sank against him the final part of my fractured guilt surged up.
Louis … I respected him more than almost anybody else, and I’d let him down. This apology was a long time coming. “I’m so, so, sorry—”
His hand wrapped around my mouth, stopping me before I could get another word out. The child in his arms stirred, and both of us were distracted as James opened his eyes. His very purple, ancient beyond his years, eyes.
“Oh wow,” I choked out, muffled behind the hand still holding my mouth hostage. “He’s so perfect.”
Louis released me, and before I could say another word, slid James right into my hands. “Only family touches my child,” he murmured, face close to mine. “You are my family. You do not need to apologize for anything. And…” He cleared his throat. “Thank you … for saving the worlds … for allowing me the gift of holding my child. I will owe you for the rest of my long life. And beyond that.”
Tears ran down my face, the sort of tears that turned me into a snotty mess, but I didn’t care. Forgiving myself was apparently the hardest thing I’d have to do, because these people who meant so much to me … they were never mad.
“You spent weeks creating a dark void to hide in,” Louis said, voice low, “fearing what we might say and do when you returned. Your guilt over Connor … over it all … that wasn’t yours to hold on to. I’m glad you finally returned to us, because our lives are better with you in them.”
I swallowed more tears, squeezing my eyes shut tightly.
“I like your hair.”
His words surprised me, and my eyes flew open again as I shifted some of the hair back behind me. “This is my natural color,” I said with a shrug. “It’s been so long, I almost forgot how white blond it was.”
Louis reached out and brushed some of it back, in such a caring gesture that it had me blubbering again. “I think this is the best color yet,” he said softly. “You don’t need to change your fate any longer. You are finally where you were always meant to be.”
Well, fuck. Dude was legit trying to kill me. “I’m so glad you came into my life,” I choked out. “You saved me in more ways than one, Louis. I’m grateful for you.”
Thankfully, before we could spill out our emotions further, Elizabeth, his mate, walked up to the table, her arms full of trays, with more magically following. The delicious smell of food had everyone moving.
When the platters landed on the table, we all sat.
“Let’s eat!” Jessa and Ilia said at the same time, and the morose mood faded as laughter rang out.
Neither Louis nor Elizabeth made a move to take their child back, and I found myself somewhat content to sit, cradling him against me. The little one was still awake, staring up at me, and I smiled down at him, unable to look away.
“You’re sort of perfect, you know,” I whispered, brushing a hand over his cheek. He wasn't swaddled. It wasn’t cold, and he wore a onesie in blue, so his arms were free to reach out, tiny fingers wrapping around mine.
I didn’t question if that was normal for a child of his age. This was Louis and Tee’s child. He was going to be extraordinary.
Asher shifted his chair closer to mine, his arm behind me so I could rest my body against his, the baby content on my chest. It was the perfect balance, and there was this odd ache in my heart.
“I’m not ready right now,” I said to Asher, tilting my head so I could see his face, “but one day I could see this as part of our life.”
He leaned over and kissed me, briefly, pulling back with blazing golden eyes. “One day, baby.”
The rest of the afternoon was spent eating, drinking, and playing with the Compass babies. James spent most of the time sleeping, content in his parents’ arms. And occasionally in mine.
Little guy already owned my heart. All of them did.
“Bye, Aunty Maddi,” Jackson called, his baby voice ripping through my body and puncturing my heart.
“Awww…” Ilia pressed a hand to her chest. “He called you Aunty Maddi. That’s so freaking cute.”
Jessa laughed. “You are all family. You’re welcome here anytime.”
Thank the gods … well, thank someone anyway, that I hadn’t achieved the end goal of those spirits. If I’d remade the world, I would have missed all of this.
Today was going down as one of the best days of my life, and I was eternally grateful to be here.
Chapter 40
“You have one month, Maddison,” Princeps Jones said, stern but with a sparkle in his eyes that sort of indicated he might be laughing at me. “Think you’re up to the challenge?”
