I took a moment to look around it too. Perfect sandy white beach, aquamarine water surrounding the tiny section of land, and about fifteen trees scattered about, offering a tiny slice of shade.
“I think I was existing between worlds,” I said softly. “I had all this energy from Galindra—it allowed me to remake my reality for some time.” Imagery flashed at me … darkness where I’d hidden and mourned. “At some point I released her energy, after having used most of it, and … it was time for me to return.” Guilt and pain had trapped me in a void of my own making.
Ilia shocked me when she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me against her, holding on like she was anchoring me to this world. “I thought I lost you. When the guys told me everything that happened, I fucking cried for a week. And then I started hunting you.” She pulled back and her eyes were as stormy as her new power. “I refused to believe you were gone. No one could find you in the underworld. Or in Faerie. Or in the demon realm. You had literally ceased to exist.”
“Asher…” I murmured out loud, devastated at the pain I must have caused him.
Ilia paled. The fact that someone with skin as dark as hers could “pale” told me that it had not been a good time for him these past few weeks.
“Asher found Connor’s bones. They were washed up on the edge of the lava in the underworld, your trident still sticking out of them. He said the spirits tried to entice him into the lava, so he knew they were back where they belonged, but … you were gone. He almost went into the lava just to see if you were there, but he figured if the spirits were calling, you were not available to them.”
I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry. “So … Connor is actually dead? He hasn’t reappeared like me?”
She squeezed my hand, her face sad. “We found him in the underworld. His spirit is at peace. He didn’t even remember us, but he was happy, Mads. He was happy.”
Sobs burst from me and I buried my head in my hands, bringing Ilia’s with me because she wouldn’t let me go. “I don’t know if I can face them all. The things I did. The things I said…”
I killed people. So many of them. Most of them had been legitimately evil, but it wasn’t my place to decide if they should live or die…
Ilia snorted again, and using our still-connected hands, jumped to her feet, yanking me with her. “Babe, you know I love you more than anything, but I won’t sit here at your pity party for one. A lot of fucked-up shit happened, and we’ll be rebuilding the world for years to come, but in the end, you’re the fucking hero that saved us all. You killed the gods.” She jabbed at my chest, not hard enough to hurt but I felt it. “You fought the most powerful spirits in existence, pretty much from the first moment they took you over.”
I shook my head. “No, I didn’t. I let them do whatever they wanted.”
The look on her face was one of disbelief. “Dude, you know that’s not true. They wanted to completely remake the world. We all know that was their ultimate end game. That’s the reason for them to exist. They’re basically a failsafe when the world is no longer redeemable. You fought them.”
Logically, what she said made sense, but the embarrassment I felt at letting them take me over wouldn’t abate.
“Did you know that Louis’s mate had their baby?”
My head jerked up and I blinked at her. “She did?”
She nodded. “Oh yeah, nine-pound chunker of a boy. Strong and powerful, just like his parents, and already with those fucking violet eyes that can see into your soul.”
Happiness exploded in my chest, cutting through the dark depression that had been holding me hostage for weeks.
“Wanna know what they named him?”
I nodded. Already that shining brightness of a new child had me feeling lighter.
“James.”
The tears were back, but this time they were not filled with a soul crushing grief. Or shame at my actions. This time … it was joy.
“James…” I breathed.
Ilia nudged me. “Yes, girl. James. Because you are so fucking awesome, and they could think of no better role model for their child. I mean, his name is James and some other middle name for those twins he’s so fond of, but his first name … it’s for you.”
I shook my head. “It’s more than I deserve. I do need to stop hiding and face them all. I need … Asher. I fucking need him. He deserves an explanation.”
Movement to our right caught my eye and Ilia let out a blast of storm magic before she could stop herself. Asher brushed it away like it was a piece of paper floating on a light breeze.
“Shit, dude! I could have killed you,” she burst out, her hands shaking. “You know better than to startle a newly-powered god. I’m a fucking explosion waiting to happen.”
She kept raging on but Asher had no attention for anything but me. His eyes, the color a simmering pot of gold, were locked on my face. He stalked toward me, not pausing, not even looking Ilia’s way. After some time she just threw her hands up and muttered something about giving us privacy and letting everyone else know I was alive and well.
When she disappeared in a swirl of storm power, I found myself standing before my mate.
“Maddison James,” he rumbled, and I crumpled like a deflated tire, falling forward, slamming against him.
