I’d been broken last year, into a million raggedy pieces. I never thought I’d find my way back to being even remotely whole. But apparently love was an amazing healer, and when you were bathed in enough of it, some of the cracks healed. I wasn’t—and would never be—the person I was before losing Asher, but I thought of myself now as the Japanese people did with broken things. When they broke a bowl, they repaired it using gold. Highlighting the crack. Because your flaws make you who you are, and they should never be hidden.
I was littered with gold-infused cracks, and maybe that made me even stronger.
The chimes of the musical bells sounded and I sighed. “What class do you have now?” I asked, not willing to step away, enjoying this moment to be wrapped around him.
He pressed a lingering kiss to the top of my head and my eyes briefly fluttered closed. “I’m teaching water magic this morning, then I have some fight classes in the afternoon.”
Pulling back to see him, I smiled. “Same schedule as last year, I see.”
He nodded, brushing hair back from my face, tucking it behind my ear. “Yeah, there’s really no point in me specializing in anything. I have Locke Industries, and water magic is my strength, so I’m honing my fighting and attack spells. I graduate this year anyway.”
My heart hurt, and I tried not to let that show on my face. Asher leaned closer. “If you leave of course. Wherever you are, Maddi, is where I am. I don’t even care if I have to take a permanent water magic teaching position to stay here.”
I chuckled, and the vise across my chest eased. “Since you own half the school, and have your own house on Academy grounds, I don’t think you need to worry about being kicked out.” A darker laugh emerged. “And the gods might have wiped us all out by next year anyway, so let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
Asher made a low, rumbling sound that started deep in his chest. “You can’t think like that, baby. I know it looks bad, and at times we’ve been in way over our heads during this battle, but if there is one thing I know about you, it’s that you’re a survivor. And so am I. No one is going to tear us apart again, not your parents, or mine, or whatever gods they recruit. A path will show itself, and we will not falter.”
Path.Exactly what Mab had said. I found that interesting. Maybe something was in the works, something bigger than any of us, because I was getting the “signs” … they were coming in loud and clear. “I’ll try not to be such a downer,” I said, forcing a smile across my face. “I have everything right now, and I’m going to enjoy it.”
“That’s my girl,” Asher said, and then with one last kiss on the forehead, he laced our fingers together and led me to an archway covered in vines. He walked me all the way to my class, and we reluctantly separated at the door.
“See you at lunch,” I told him, on my tiptoes for one last kiss.
He deepened the kiss, possessing and claiming my mouth, and then he was gone. Stumbling into the room, flustered and red faced, I sank down in a desk near the center. If I hadn’t already died once, I would be certain Asher was going to be the death of me. In the best possible way.
Chapter 4
“Good morning, year three students.”
Quark stood front and center, and I leaned forward on my desk, enjoying once again seeing his familiar face. The troll was someone I’d grown to like and respect. He was brash, unamused by idiots, and super smart. It was unusual for the demi-fey to teach outside of their academy, but Quark definitely walked to his own beat.
“In this course we’ve been moving through the history of our people, focusing on the wars for the most part. We might take a step away from that somewhat this year, but before we do, I’d like to pose a question to you all. Why do you think we focus so heavily on war when we explore the history of supernaturals?”
He generally started every class with a question, wanting to see lots of involvement and discussion. Hands went into the air, and the troll pointed to a vampire to the right of me: Brenda.
“We focus on war because it’s the easiest way to showcase the very worst…” she paused for a beat “...and the very best of our people. And nothing else truly shows the division between our races and how far we’ve come to exist in the supernatural communities the way we do.”
“War is a great way to see the repeated mistakes we keep making,” I added. I meant to mutter under my breath, but the words came out louder than intended.
Quark met my gaze, his eyes super dark today. “I would agree with both points. If you study the history of supernatural wars, generally they all start in the same place. Usually because of our race differences. Usually because of misunderstandings. And often because of the minute—some would say insignificant—things that divide us.” He leaned back against his desk, face somber. “At times I think we’re learning from our mistakes, but then the next war comes along and I realize that we are forever going to repeat them.”
It was so true. One of the shifter wars started because a vampire wanted their territory. Another war between fey and bear shifters because of a love affair gone wrong. All started by powerful, egotistical supes, usually filled with too much race pride and too little respect for all the lives that would be lost.
It was the same sort of bullshit that allowed the gods to think that what they wanted was more important than every other living being in the worlds. Those fucking gods, led by my parents, wanted to kill the Mother of All, absorb her power, and have the ability to completely remake the worlds. They were already super powerful, true gods, and yet that was not enough.
Time and time again, it had been proven that absolute power created absolute corruption. The gods were no exception, and even if they did manage to pull off their plan, eventually they’d fight amongst themselves. Pride and pettiness, we all had it.
A fury that was soul deep stirred in my gut, the sort of anger so strong it was self-sustaining with no help from me. The fact that these gods were willing to sacrifice everyone for their own selfish gains, that they would have killed all of my friends just to prove they could, just to hurt me, to make me do what they wanted … what the fuck was wrong with them? I mean, I was as guilty of being selfish as the next person, but I hoped I never reached the point where I could kill without thought or remorse for something as fucking stupid as more power.
That was abhorrent.
“What else can we learn from war?” Quark asked, walking through the desks. “Not even just the wars we’ve studied in this class, but on a larger scale. A generalization.”
I put my hand up, already fired up. Quark nodded at me and words spewed from my mouth in a rush, most of it almost unintelligible because I was so pissed off.
“We’ve learned that most of the time, when people do terrible things, they justify it in their minds. In reality, those who feel justified are the most dangerous, and arrogant beings hear no reason. They will sacrifice lives for their crusade. They will sacrifice everyone, and in the end, believe that those lost should be grateful to have been part of their vision.” I sucked in a ragged breath, the silence in the classroom heavy. “I appreciate and admire what Princeps Jones tries to do in this school, but most of the time, overcoming our differences is like plugging a leak in the ocean with your fingertip. We’ll never stop the rushing tide, and everything ebbs and flows without interference. We are at peace now, but war will follow. It always does.”
I realized I’d unintentionally sent power out in my speech. I dialed it back so that the heaviness would fade. Only it didn’t. Because it wasn’t just coming from me; everyone felt it too.
