Evan was suddenly very serious. “Kenichi, of course.”
I stilled. “What is this Kenichi you speak of? I don’t knowKenichi.”
Evan’s face lit up and he snatched the remote up from the table. “Oh, fuck, Rile. Hold on to your designer underwear. You’re in for a treat.”
* * *
Hours later,while opening the pizza boxes, I smiled at him. “Thanks for staying with me today. I needed to ... not be alone, I guess.”
He nodded, and didn’t say anything back for a few minutes while he chewed the massive amount of supreme pizza he’d just crammed into his mouth.
“I get that.” His comment came some moments later and didn’t invite any further discussion so I let it drop.
We continued watching anime—Kenichiwas fucking amazing—and eating pizza until it was late, and we really couldn’t ignore the fact that Beck still wasn’t back.
“Do you think he’s okay?” I finally asked Evan, after catching myself staring at my front door for about the millionth time. “What would Delta do to him?”
Evan frowned and scratched at the back of his neck. “Honestly, I thought they’d be done by now. I haven’t heard from Dylan or Jasper either so they must still be in chambers with the board.”
I nodded slowly, chewing my lip and staring at the door.
“You’ve forgiven him then?” Evan asked gently, and I didn’t play dumb pretending I didn’t know what he was talking about.
Shaking my head, I looked to my hands and my ratty, chewed nails. “No. Not even close.”
“Good,” he replied, surprising me into looking up at him. “We all betrayed your trust, Spare. We all pretended you were one of us, when all along we knew Delta would pull something like what they did. But Beck…” he broke off with a grimace, running a hand through his hair. “He went too far. He shouldn’t have gotten in so deep with you, not when there were so many secrets between you both.”
I gave a sarcastic sort of laugh. “Never thought I’d see the day one of you disagreed with his actions. You all seem to worship the ground he walks on.”
He shook his head and flicked the TV off. “We’re loyal to the death, but it doesn’t mean we’re sheep. He fucked up, and he knows it, but if it makes any difference I’ve never seen him like this before.”
The whole subject was making me uncomfortable. No, I hadn’t forgiven Beck. It was sort of his fault I’d become a killer, for fuck’s sake. But in the same vein, he’d saved me this morning and possibly killed at least one of my attackers. Now he was facing Delta’s wrath over it so … yeah. Uncomfortable.
Complicated.
“I should go to bed,” I muttered, pushing up from the couch and tossing my empty pizza box on the table. “Do you mind staying?”
Evan gave me a quick smile and grabbed a throw blanket from the back of the couch. “Totally fine. I’ll stay until the boys get back, but I’m sure it won’t be long.”
“Cool.” I rubbed at my arms as I made my way toward my bedroom, but paused when he called out my name.
“He probably doesn’t deserve you, Riley,” Evan said quietly. “But you’re exactly what he needs.”
If that wasn’t the kick in the gut I didn’t need right before I tried to get some sleep.
I just shook my head without answering, because what could I say. Beck and I were two disasters constantly drawn together through some fucked up attraction. But it wasn’t like the disaster in us canceled each other out when we got close. Instead it intensified and created a fucking hell of a storm. We knew it. But we still couldn’t walk away.
After peeing and then brushing my teeth, I crawled into bed and pulled the covers tightly around me. Today had been up there with one of the worst of my life, although it hadn’t made the top two, which spoke of how fucked up the last three months had been.
Shit. It was my eighteenth birthday next week. The point where I thought I would be able to run away and forget Catherine Debitch and this shitshow she had dragged me into.
What a naive fool I’d been.
They had me. I was going nowhere.
“Go to sleep, Spare!” Evan yelled from the couch. “I can hear you thinking from over here.”
“Fuck you, Evan,” I shouted back, rolling to my side and pulling the pillow over my head.
