Lowering my head, I pressed my mouth to hers. “Everything,” I murmured. “I would take it all back … except you.”
It was a truth I had been coming to terms with for a long time now. That what I felt for Regina was strong, but it was not … enough. We didn’t really know each other, we’d fallen into a mateship so quickly, and I’d let myself pretend for some time.
Because she was as close as I could get to her sister.
I saw it now. I had been in love with Tee back then, but she never indicated she wanted more than friendship, so I’d let myself go for the next best thing. And I had fallen for Regina, that much I would never deny, but my feelings back then were nothing on the roaring surges of emotion that Elizabeth Teresa Montgomery dragged from me every second I was with her.
“You can’t mean that?” she said, trying to wiggle down from me. “Remember who you’re talking to. I saw you two together. I felt the devastation after she died. Don’t lie to me!”
This conversation had been a long time coming. We would never be able to move forward unless we healed from the past. I didn’t let her pull free from me though. I couldn’t let her go.
“Tee, please, listen to me. I promise I’m not lying. Regina was the substitute for you, she even accused me of it during one fight we had just before she died.” Another reason I’d let guilt consume me. “And I mourned not just for her, but for you. I mourned for you, because I lost a chosen mate, but you lost your sister. She was your best friend. And I should have been there to keep her safe.”
Tears sprinkled from her eyes before trailing down her cheeks. She was wheezing as she tried to get herself together. “I can’t believe you,” she cried, and then I was blasted back with her power.
I didn’t bother to break my fall, knowing I deserved her anger. My back hit the wall next to her fireplace, but before I could crash through it—and her power was enough that I would definitely have gone through the timber—she pulled me up and dropped me to my feet.
“I need some time,” she said, tears still streaming down her cheeks. “I need to visit my sister and my parents, and I need to figure out if I can believe the words you’ve just given me. If I can believe in us again.”
As much as I didn’t want to leave her, I knew how stubborn she could be. If this is what she thought she needed, then I would give it to her.
“This time for real, Louis. I’m not kidding.”
I nodded. “I understand, this is a lot, but I promise … I have not lied to you. Not about us. Not about the truth of Regina and me. I need you to know that while I might have panicked in those first few days, I’ve finally come to my senses. I will fight for this bond, Tee. I will not let you go again.”
She buried her head in her hands and soft sobs stabbed me in the chest. The floors started to rock as my power leaked out and energy swirled in my center. If she didn’t stop crying, I was probably going to accidentally destroy her house. At least I had enough control to make sure she wasn’t hurt in the fallout.
Large silvery eyes were locked on me now, and while tears still poured from them, she was no longer sobbing. “You’re so different,” she whispered. “Kind of ironic that it took literal darkness to infiltrate your soul before our bond clicked in. I didn’t get the light, kind Louis. I get this badass, scary Louis.”
I chuckled, taking a step toward her because I couldn’t help myself. “I’ve always been scary, you know that.”
She chuckled, her fingertips wiping away her tears. “Yes, you have always been scary, but now there’s an edge to you that wasn’t there before. A darkness that is part of who you are now, and it makes me wonder why….”
I finished her thought. “Because you’re light. You’re the one who keeps my darkness at bay, and unfortunately that’s going to be a bitch of a job for the rest of your life, but I hope it’s one you decide to take on.”
She considered me for a moment. “I want to say yes—every single part of me wants to say yes—but I think I need to deal with my past first. So give me this time.”
I nodded. I would try my best not to break my word to her. It was the least I could do.
“I’ll be in Romania later today,” I said. “At the sanctuary. We’re meeting there with all the supernatural leaders around the world. If you have decided by then, I’d love to see you there.”
I left it at that, and before she could utter another word, I used magic to speed across to her. Lifting her in my arms, I pressed my lips to hers, just one brief, brushing kiss, and then I set her down before turning and striding out of her house.
In a heartbeat, I had my step-through open and I was gone.
Leaving part of my soul behind.
18
Elizabeth Teresa Montgomery II
The moment Louis left, a scream rocked through me. Since I knew I was alone on my hill, I let it spill out of me in a roar of emotion. I’d asked him to leave … to give me time … again. But now that he was gone, his energy no longer filling every inch of my life, I felt empty.
Weakness invaded my core, and I forced myself to straighten, to magic some clothes onto myself and to do exactly what I’d told him I had to do. I had to deal with my past.
My step-through led me back home, to the place where my sister and parents were buried, to the old farmhouse I had spent my youth in. In Aberdeen, Mississippi. The farm was still mine. I had left it there because I couldn’t face it, but I hadn’t been able to get rid of it either.
Ignoring the old house, I headed toward the gravesite where my ancestors were all buried. It was right at the far end, beyond the fields of wildflowers. In my absence, everything had gotten unruly. Out of control. And I loved it. This was how nature should look.
