She’s giving me a different look now, one that says I’m telling her something she suspected for a long time. “You really don’t want him to die.”
I swallow. “I have to find a way to force the Elven Command to call off the fight. For both our sakes. But at the same time, I need to be declared the winner.”
“I don’t understand, Princess. If you don’t want him to die, then why don’t you want him to be your husband?”
“Because…” I haven’t been able to tell Jordan about the curse. Even telling Elise was a risk. But now I grapple with a reason that Jordan might understand. Something. Anything that might make sense without revealing the truth.
Then I land on it: a reason that could be believed. “Because… the Elven Command lied about a male being able to share the power of the storm. If anyone except me steps foot in the Storm Vault, the Storm will kill them. Mai told me that her husband barely survived. I… can’t risk killing Commander Rath. The same way I can’t risk killing him in the final battle.”
She digests that for a moment before saying, “But… why not just tell him to wait outside the Vault? You’ve been warned about it so you know he should stay out of it.”
Okay, so it wasn’t a very convincing reason after all. My mind turns blank every direction I turn for a better one.
She continues without giving me an inch. “And… having a husband isn’t just about helping with the storm. I’ve heard that a husband can be quite worthwhile for… other reasons.” Her face flames, but she presses on. “Reasons that I’m certain would be more than adequate with a male like Commander Rath.”
I stare at her in shock. We’ve gone from talking about Baelen ripping me limb from limb to talking about…other reasons. My heart crumbles as she continues to look at me with concern. I know she doesn’t just mean sex. She means comfort, support, knowing that someone has my back, that they care about me and care about how I feel and what I think.
My gaze drops to my lap because I can’t keep my face blank right now. I can’t hide what I feel. I have to push it all out of my head and forget about the idea of someone loving me because the memory ofother reasonsalready caused me to choose a cup that I shouldn’t have chosen.
A sad smile curves Jordan’s lips and I realize that she’s not going to press me further when she says, “You don’t have to tell me your real reasons. I wish you would, but I know that you must not be able to. Which is why I’m going to trust you. I’ll do as you ask. I will make sure that the Storm Command protects Commander Rath.”
I exhale some of my pent up fear and sadness. “Thank you, Jordan.”
“Now,” she says, pushing the plate of food toward me with a gentle smile. “Eat before you subdue the Storm today, because afterward, you have a wedding to preside over.”
I do as she asks and then I head to the Storm Vault to complete my daily task that has somehow become the only place I feel safe—and the only thing I feel safe doing. But the Storm today is… different.
When I step into the Vault, the lightning sputters, half-formed thunder cuts off into silence, and the rain starts and stops, pouring one moment and disappearing the next.
I turn my hands upward, squinting as raindrops fall on my head, trying to call the lightning to me. It dances across my skin and for a moment, it feels like normal, but then it jolts upward, as if it’s shuddering. Like I’m suddenly shuddering.
“Something’s wrong.” I study the storm above me. So far there’s been lightning, rain, and thunder, but no wind. Not like the other day when there was plenty of it.
Fat drops of rain start to fall in front of my feet, but don’t land on me. “What’s wrong, Storm?” I’ve progressed from calling it ‘Beast’, to now calling it what I think it should be called: simply ‘Storm.’
An enormous water drop falls past my face, the width of my hand. It splashes at my feet, sloshing upward. A full five seconds later, another one follows it. Each splash sounds out a word.
It… isn’t… my… fault.
“What isn’t?”
It… isn’t… me.
I shake my head and repeat. “What isn’t? I don’t understand you.”
I… can’t…
I wait for more. But that’s it. That’s all there is. The lightning sputters and dies. There are no more water drops. No more rain. The Storm calms and I have no idea what it was trying to tell me.
I leave the Storm Vault feeling baffled. I stop inside the first room where Elise waits for me, wishing Baelen would appear like he had before. I take the opportunity to tell Elise what I asked Jordan to do—to keep Baelen safe.
Elise hangs her head, her shoulders slumping. “I wish I had a better plan to offer you.”
I slump into the chair at the side of the room. “Why am I doing this, Elise? Why am I trying to win? Why… can’t I just yield like everyone wants me to? LikeIwant to.”
Elise sighs. “I understand your frustration, but even if you put aside the disaster of a raging storm that will happen if you die, the curse will force Commander Rath to kill you. He’s an honorable male and it will destroy him once he realizes what he’s done. Then the storm will be unleashed and kill him anyway. You won’t have saved him after all—”
“No, stop.” My hand shoots into the air, silencing her. “What did you just say?”
