I snorted, and she shook her head, realising what she’d been saying. “Right, no one is taking you from the Abcurses.” Her voice got even lower. “They’re a little scary, Will. Are you sure—”
Her words were cut off by Coen swinging to the right and opening the door to the bathing chamber. He disappeared inside and by the time we reached the entrance, he was striding back out. “All clear. I’ll be right here.” He glanced down at me, a frown on his face. “Shout out if you need help. Don’t be a hero, dweller-baby.”
I narrowed my eyes until they were surely no more than slits and tried my best to mentally shout every ounce of my annoyance at him. He shocked the hell out of me by slightly tipping his head back and laughing: a deep rocking laughter that sent shock waves of a strong emotion through me. He was beautiful. Perfect. Just like his brothers. And they didn’t want me. A lot of my anger fled then, because I was used to accepting this sort of disappointment. It wasn’t their fault; they had done far more for me than anyone else ever had. I should have known and I should have seen it coming. I needed to be okay with it. Iwasokay with it.
I forced a smile across my face. It was almost a real one. “I’ll be right out, One, you don’t have to worry about me.”
There was not a trace of laughter on his face when he said in a low voice, “If only it were that simple.” He straightened to his full height of ‘giant’ and gestured to the time-piece around his neck. “You have three clicks before I come in there after you.”
“I might be peeing,” I said in pretend-horror.
Coen nudged me into the room. “I’ll take my chances. Three clicks.”
I knew he wouldn’t let us keep the door closed, but luckily there was a second door past the sinks which meant that I wasn’t actually being watched in the bathroom. Emmy went into the stall next to mine, and both of us had a whispered conversation while we peed.
“Tell me everything that happened while I slept,” I said quickly. “The boys got you to spy for them?”
Her reply came back without hesitation. “How did you … never mind. Yeah, they weren’t really taking no for an answer and they seemed to be dealing with something else. It was pretty easy for Atti to get access to her room. He cleans for the dweller-committee.”
She paused for a brief moment, and I could sense her building up to asking me something big. Finally, she whispered, her voice really muffled on the other side of the wall. “You’re going to leave Blesswood again. Will you come back again this time?”
My heart ached a little at the sadness seeping from her. Our lives were being wrenched apart and there was nothing much that could be done to change that. “I’ll always come back for you, Emmy. You’re my sister.”
Normally this would be the point where we hugged, but being separated by a wall, we just finished up our business before busting out of the stalls. Emmy’s eyes were slightly red-rimmed and misty, but she cleared her throat and changed the subject as we washed our hands. “So, do you like Aros? I mean … youdidkiss him. I don’t think the others are going to let you choose, though. They seem to like the dynamic they have going on, and sols aren’t allowed to get involved with dwellers, so an illegal lover would really mess up that dynamic.”
I flinched, the memory of their little pact coming back to me as pain once again slammed into my chest. It felt a little like when our mental link was stretched too thin and my heart was shredding through my ribs.
“Will …” Emmy knew me too well; she could read the sadness. “What happened? What did they do to you?”
I had to tell someone, so I spared a quick glance toward the door. I hadn’t even realised that Coen had closed it until then. I leaned in close and whispered, “They made a pact. A pact to not … want me.”
They didn’t want me.
In hurried words, I told her everything I’d heard during my time in Siret’s head. My best friend listened closely, one hip notched against the sink, her expression remaining calm. I knew our time before someone barged in on us was running out, so I did my best to stay on point.
When I finished up, her calm expression had morphed into something else. It was a look Emmy wore a lot: one I had seen a million times growing up. The one which said she knew something that everyone else didn’t. Since Emmy was a genius, it had happened far too often over the past dozen life-cycles.
When she didn’t speak, I growled at her. “What? Just tell me!”
She straightened, taking both of my hands into hers. “Will, you have this terrible habit of thinking and expecting the worst from everyone. Like you push them away before they can do it to you. I mean … how many friends have you had over the last eighteen life-cycles? Besides me. And I think the only reason you never kicked me out of your life was that I literally had nowhere else to go and you eventually had to get used to me.”
“That’s not true,” I burst out. “I love you.”
Emmy chuckled. “You love me now, but don’t you remember when my mum first died and I moved in with you? You shoved rocks under my side of the bed on the floor for weeks. Not to mention that sleeper incident.”
She was still smiling and I couldn’t help but return it. “Yeah, okay, I was pretty sure that the moment you moved in my mum was going to realise what a terrible, clumsy child I was and that it would be much nicer just to have you as a daughter.”
Emmy surprised me by pulling me into a hard hug. “I knew, and I understood. I was determined to break through that wall you kept around yourself, and it took me forever, but once I did.” Her eyes were definitely misty now. “When you let me in, Willa … it was beautiful. You’re the best friend I could ever imagine having and my life is so much richer with you in it. Before you, there was no laughter in my life. There was nogoodness.”
Now I was the one with a thick throat and misty eyes. I swallowed a few times before I managed to speak. “You were … I thought you were going to steal my family from me. But instead you became the only true family I’ve ever had. And as much as I’ve enjoyed our heartfelt moment, I would be a liar if I said I understood what the point of this last conversation has been.”
She threw back her head and laughed, the tinkling sound filling the bathroom. “Will, please … Never change.”
Yeah, that was never going to happen. I had tried. Most of my teachers had tried. It was impossible. I was stuck with my personality, with every negative thing the gods had cursed me with, and none of it was going anywhere. I was going to have to bemefor the rest of my life.
“And my point was,” Emmy interrupted my mostly-useless train-of-thought. “You act like the Abcurses are so far above you. That you could offer them nothing and therefore you’re not surprised that they don’t want you. Any one of them would be lucky to be with someone like you, Will, and whatever pact they made, I don’t think it was about you not being good enough. There’s something bigger going on here, something about them we don’t know.”
Before I could push her further or ask about this mystery she thought the Abcurses were hiding, a banging on the outside door had us both jumping.
