“Shit, I thought you were lying, trying to keep it all secretive. Friend, what am I missing? That man is fine as hell, he’s pretty much giving you the one and only thing you want and can’t get for yourself, andagain,he’s fine as hell. That alone is reason enough.”
Samari rolled her eyes. “Not too much on how fine he is, Ree.”
“You’re telling me to back up off your man but you’re not claiming him. You aren’t making sense, Mari.”
She was feeling Asao, and over the past couple weeks spending time with him had only intensified those feelings, but the one thing she refused to do was allow her pussy to cost her another opportunity to live a dream that was reality for a brief moment.
The situations were very different. Cobra wanted between her legs for selfish reasons. He was a greedy man who used power to take, control, and break women like her. No matter how little she knew about Asao, she would bet her life’s earnings that he would never do the same.
That wasn’t in his demeanor. She wasn’t naïve by any means nor was she unknowing about the type of man he truly was. She could feel his turmoil, sense his turbulence, and understand the wrath he had the potential to unleash. That just would never be their story. She was safe with him, and while others should tread lightly when it came to Asao, she could find peace in his world and under his protection but…
The fear of crossing lines with the one man who held her fate in his hand scared her. If things went wrong, there was still a chance, even if very small, that he could snatch back all the promises he’d made and she refused to allow that to be her reality.
Sex complicated things. Emotions blurred lines and caused the most loyal men to betray when they felt backed into a corner. A man’s heart was complicated enough, but a man like Asao who was rooted in the struggle he’d had to navigate to stay alive was damn near an abyss of danger.
“I don’t want to mess this up.”
“What do you mean?”
Sitting across from her girl gave Sheree full access to all Samari’s inner turmoil and conflict.
“I want this bad, Ree. Sex is just sex but sex attached to a future I never thought I would have access to again is scary as hell.”
“You don’t trust him?” Sheree asked, needing to know exactly where her girl’s head was before she voiced her opinion.
“No, I do, which is crazy because I don’t know shit about him,” she huffed, speaking her feelings out loud. Since theday they’d met, Samari had felt a pull to Asao that she didn’t understand. He had her head and heart at war because nothing about the way she wanted to be wrapped in his world proved to be logical. She trusted him, would follow his lead, and felt that whatever path they navigated together would bring a happiness she couldn’t even process at the moment. But that meant betting with her lifeline. With Sheree’s patient but concerned eyes on Samari, she sighed. “I lost my career because I wouldn’t sleep with Cobra. I don’t want to risk losing it if I sleep with Asao.”
Sheree understood but knew it was deeper than that. “Is it just losing your career that you’re fearful about?”
When Samari didn’t respond right away, Sheree added for clarity, “I know you’ve got this thing about men always letting you down, Mari, but there are good ones too. I married one.”
Sheree smiled thinking about her husband and Samari grinned too. “What if Cantor’s the only exception?”
“What if he’s not?” Sheree shrugged and lifted her wine.
“But he could be that one in a million and I’m pretty sure you’re not trying to share so…”
“Bitch, no. I love you but come up off thoughts about my man.” Sheree playfully narrowed her eyes and Samari laughed.
“But y’all are good though?”
Nodding, Sheree’s smile surfaced again. “We’re good. My baby has been all gas, no brakes with me since that night. He said he never wants me to ever feel like I have to question or doubt him and the way he’s been throwing dick at me is exhausting.” She sipped her wine and smiled smugly. “But that doesn’t stop me from catching it.”
“Please don’t.” Samari frowned. “But I’m glad y’all are good.”
“We are. We agreed to check in more and not let stuff linger because we’re in this for life.”
Samari exposed a goofy grin, loving the way her girl was in love and being loved. “Aww, Ree. Y’all are so cute.”
“Bitch, you could be cute too if you hopped on that man’s dick.”
The friends looked at each other then busted out laughing. When they recovered, Sheree grabbed the baby monitor when she heard Jomie whining and pouted when she stood, stretching to soothe the ache from sitting on the floor. “Let me go check on her.”
“Go head, I’m going to get us set up.” Samari grabbed both of their plates, taking them to the kitchen. She returned with the popcorn in a bowl, the box of cake pops, and the second, uncorked bottle of wine.
After refilling their glasses, she set everything up and made the short trip to the hallway closet where she retrieved two fluffy blankets and sat on one end of the love seat with the tray of goodies centered while she pulled her legs up and crossed them at the ankle. Needing to be cozy, she draped one of the blankets over her body. To keep busy while she waited for Sheree, Samari grabbed her phone and opened Skroll, casually swiping until a text that had her smiling filled the top of her screen.
Asao: I need your time later.
