Tariq didn’t disagree. ‘Do you want me to hold that thing so you can ride properly?’ he asked Aisha.
‘I’ll manage.’
Once everyone was back on their horses, they set off at a slow pace.
Very few words were exchanged during the second half of the journey. Only when the castle came into view did Tariq move his horse closer to Aisha’s.
‘For the record,’ he said quietly, ‘I’ve no intention of telling anyone.’
Aisha looked down at the cub, not saying anything.
‘I told you I’d protect you,’ he added.
That got her talking. ‘You brought me here knowing I’d be vulnerable. You don’t get to claim protector now.’
He looked forwards again. ‘And I suppose you were completely transparent, with your family being so morally superior and all?’
Silence.
Tariq drew a breath. ‘We both benefit from this marriage. Let’s not allow feelings to get in the way.’
Her expression turned from annoyed to disappointed. ‘No feelings. Got it. Just let me know when you need something.’
It had come out wrong. ‘You know what I meant.’
‘I do, because you were very clear.’
His eyes remained on her. ‘The political landscape is precarious, and I’m looking out for both kingdoms.’
‘Of course,’ she said without looking at him.
‘Because it’s not about us. It’s about the people we represent counting on us to find a solution.’
‘And personal feelings get in the way of that. Believe me, I understand.’ She finally met his gaze. ‘How did you find out?’
He could have told her about Maryam, but he’d promised not to expose the attendant for the same reasons. ‘The day we met.’ It wasn’t a lie. ‘Our hands touched, and you…’ He didn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t need to.
Aisha was silent for the longest time. ‘The queen won’t hesitate to hand me over to the sectarian if she learns the truth. In fact, she’d probably be thrilled to do it.’
Her words landed hard because they were true. He couldn’t imagine living in constant fear of being exposed for some ability you were born with and couldn’t control. ‘Well, I won’t let that happen.’
‘Because you need me.’
‘Yes.’
‘Without the emotion,’ she added.
His eyes searched hers until she looked away. The cub gave a small cry, and Aisha held her closer, her chin brushing the soft fur.
They rode the rest of the way in silence.
Chapter 16
Two weeks had passed since their journey to Ashwaq. Two weeks of wedding preparations and avoiding each other.
The city erupted in celebration the day of the announcement. Tariq and Aisha had walked together through the streets, and for a fleeting moment, he had allowed himself to imagine that her smile was for him. But it wasn’t. It was for the children tugging at her sleeves and offering flowers to put in her hair. She had never shone as brightly as she did that day. It had left him with the sharp ache of knowing.
Amicable would have to be enough.
