Those moments were burned into his brain and weren’t going anywhere. ‘My memories are one of the few things you can’t control.’
Farrah pressed her lips together. ‘My point is, no one else need know. Do you understand me?’
Tariq simply blinked.
‘You will annul the marriage,’ she went on. ‘Quietly, respectfully. Let the scribes handle it. Then you will never speak of her again. Understood?’
He was agitated now. ‘You’re forgetting yourself.’
‘No. You are forgetting how inexperienced you are. This is no longer a matter of the heart. This is governance. Now get some rest. As you said, it has been a big day.’ She left before he could respond.
Tariq remained there, every muscle tense, until she disappeared from sight.
Chapter 38
Aisha lay in a hammock in the garden, an arm draped over a dozing Mira. The cub had grown considerably in the month they had been in Avanid. Her sleek, heavy body sprawled over Aisha’s legs, a blanket of muscle and fur. Aisha scratched behind Mira’s ear absent-mindedly, eyes half-lidded against the midday sun.
One month home with her family.
One month without word from Maryam.
One month without him.
It had taken three days to get from the border to the palace, but at least they had travelled in a wagon instead of on horseback. She had fallen, crying, into her sisters’ arms when she’d finally made it. Even Zara’s composure had cracked that day. Her father had cupped her face in trembling hands, his eyes watery as he looked at her. Omar hadn’t left her side for three days, sleeping in her bed with Mira, just like when he was little.
Despite the soft landing, the ache in her chest lingered, worsening whenever she thought of Tariq for too long. She wondered if he missed her. While she stood by her choices, she carried the weight of them everywhere.
Lilah appeared at the edge of the garden, barefoot, holding a fig in one hand and a book in the other. She used the book to shield her eyes as she approached. ‘There you are,’ she said, sitting on the edge of the hammock and swinging it gently.
‘I can’t move until Mira does.’
‘Oh, that’s the rule?’
Aisha nodded.
Lilah reached over to stroke the leopard, her expression turning serious. ‘But you’re all right?’
Aisha lowered her arm. ‘Yes.’
‘Because you’re allowed to feel bad about the empire thinking you’re a murderer. And you’re allowed to miss him.’ A sigh slipped from Lilah. ‘You’re not required to put on a brave face for our benefit.’
Aisha didn’t reply straight away due to the lump in her throat. ‘It’s not for your benefit. It’s for my sanity.’ Her arm went over her eyes again. ‘I’m out here trying not to drown.’
Lilah held the half-eaten fig out to her. Aisha took a bite from it and passed it back.
‘To be clear, we have no intention of letting you drown,’ Lilah said.
Aisha swallowed her mouthful, then held her hand out for another bite.
‘Finish it,’ Lilah said, passing it to her. ‘I’ll get another.’
‘A pity fig. Perfect,’ Aisha said as she took it.
The sound of footsteps coming at a run broke the moment. Safiya burst into view.
‘What is it?’ Lilah called to her.
‘There’s a courier here,’ she shouted. ‘He has a letter from Gruisea.’
