‘Eda’s free to withdraw at any time,’ Harlan pointed out. ‘All she need do is speak up.’
‘She’s far too stubborn for that,’ Blake said as she passed a boiled egg down to Luella. ‘She’d sooner die of internal bleeding than admit she’s not up to it.’
‘I am up to it,’ Eda snapped, looking to Roul for support. ‘Tell them.’
Roul swallowed his last mouthful of food, then laid his knife and fork on his plate and rose from his chair. ‘Thank you for dinner.’ He looked at Candace. ‘I apologise for rushing off, but I have to get back to the barracks.’
Candace looked up in surprise. ‘But you barely ate a thing.’
‘That was plenty, really.’ He stepped back from the table before anyone could object and headed for the front door. He heard a chair scrape the floor behind him, and a moment later, Eda followed him out of the house. Outside, the light had faded, and everything was washed in grey light.
‘Roul,’ Eda called.
He continued to where his horse was tethered. ‘Go back inside and eat. I’ll see you in the morning.’
Naturally, she did not listen. ‘I hope you’re not doing something foolish like feeling guilty.’ She followed him all the way to his horse. ‘She’s my mother. Worrying is what mothers do. Clearly I’m fine.’
He untied his horse. ‘It’s not always about you. I do have a life and problems outside of you, you know.’ The second those words passed his lips, he closed his eyes. Now he was delivering blows during her recuperation time. He turned to face her, noting her slightly wounded expression. ‘I’m sorry.’
She crossed her arms and shrugged. ‘What for? It’s true.’
While it was true, Eda remained one of the most important pieces of his life at that time. But he could never tell her that, because that would only deepen the attachment.
‘Are you going to her?’ Eda asked, her voice quiet suddenly.
He had done that. He had stolen her confidence with a few thoughtless words. ‘Why do you ask such things?’
‘I don’t know.’ She wet her lips and looked around. ‘Perhaps I want you to choose time with me over time with her.’
He stared at her, his chest tight and palms heating. ‘Eda. I’ve come here nearly every afternoon for the past year.’
‘Then at night, you go to her.’
He gathered the reins and prepared to mount, knowing they were stepping into dangerous territory. ‘I have to go.’ She took hold of the horse’s bridle, and he was forced to face her again. ‘What now? What ridiculous question are you going to ask now? Do you want to know how long I’d grieve if Hildred died? Is that it? That way you can gauge where you’re positioned in this competition you’ve created? Because heaven forbid you ever place second.’
If he did not hate himself enough before, he thoroughly hated himself now.
Eda let go of the bridle and stepped back from the horse, assessing him for a moment before turning away.
‘Eda—’
‘Leave.’ She hurried for the door, shoulders rounded. ‘I’ll see you in the morning.’
Roul swore and raked a hand through his hair. He thought about going after her, then realised he could not say the things he wanted to anyway.
Mounting his horse, he galloped away from Wright House.
CHAPTER11
If Roul had a penny for every time Eda glared in his direction, he would have been the wealthiest defender in the borough. She had arrived that morning with a strange energy and hungry for a fight. There was sharpness to her manner, an edge to her tone whenever she spoke. The recruits noticed it too, looking between themselves every time she threw a spear or knocked someone else’s knife from the pell with her own.
It was nearing noon, and Eda was showing no signs of slowing down.
‘I want you on elbows and toes all the way to the wall,’ Roul called to the group. ‘Then run back to me. If I see a knee touch the ground, you’ll start over.’
Eda was crawling off before the others had even made it to the ground. Roul watched her speed ahead, wondering how long it would take her to forgive him and what he would need to do to make that happen. He was so absorbed by the sight of her scurrying along the wet grass that he did not notice Queen Fayre and her guard approaching.
‘Good morning, Commander,’ the queen regent called to him.
