‘And why does that matter?’
‘It matters.’ Becket adjusted the folds of his cloaks. ‘It matters because I found the letter soon after it was delivered.’
Roul’s lungs stilled. Surely he was not saying what Roul thought he was saying. He stared at the king, waiting for him to continue.
‘I found it while my father was still alive.’ His words were strained.
Blood pulsed in Roul’s ears.
‘So, as you can now see’—he met Roul’s gaze with some difficulty—‘we all played a role in his death. My weapon of choice was silence.’
Roul did not move, could not move. Becket had not warned his father. ‘Why?’ It was the only word he could get out.
‘I do not fully understand the reason. I certainlywantedto tell him. But I think deep down I knew he was not up to the task.’ He paused. ‘Naturally, I despised myself afterwards—still do. As I despise you. And I do not foresee that changing.’
There were no words Roul could speak that were adequate, so he chose silence instead—as the prince had once done.
‘So stay,’ Becket said, regaining composure. ‘Help with the clean-up if that is your wish. Then go to Carno, collect your family, and bring them to Chadora. I believe they will be safest here.’ He linked his hands behind his back. ‘Then I wish to see you back in uniform and training recruits to the same standards as those who brought me home. Those men—and that woman—are a credit to you.’
The man was handing Roul everything he could possibly want. ‘Your Majesty, I—’
‘Your actions today say it all, Commander Thornton. There is really no need for words.’
Roul nodded, took a step back, turned, then turned again. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. He tried to leave a second time, then said, ‘I’ll get back to work.’
‘And I shall await news of your family’s arrival.’ He attempted a smile. ‘I believe I owe them a dinner invitation.’
CHAPTER44
Eda gave up on sleep and wandered out to the stables wrapped in a blanket. She sat in the donkeys’ stall, watching them doze in the dark. Basil seemed particularly content. He did not come to Eda for affection that night. His loneliness was cured—and she was so happy for him.
She must have fallen asleep, because when she opened her eyes, warm, bright light filtered through the wood.
Warm, bright light.
The sun had not only risen, but it had broken through the clouds.
Getting to her feet, and wincing the entire time, Eda opened the stall door so the donkeys could go out and graze. Then she did the same for Harlan’s horse. She smiled as she stepped out into the golden light. It drenched her face. Steam escaped her mouth with each breath, a reminder that the air’s temperature was no warmer.
But itfeltwarmer.
Basil’s head bumped her, making her clutch her side and momentarily lose her breath. ‘You can’t do that for another six weeks,’ she reprimanded him while rubbing his face, rewarding the demanding behaviour. ‘Do you want to come to the creek?’
The donkey brayed as though answering her.
‘Yes, Rosemary can come too.’
Eda made her way down to the creek, then strolled downstream until she reached her favourite spot, where light dappled the ground, turning to full sun closer to the water. Basil and Rosemary lowered their heads to graze. Eda scooped up some water and drank, then splashed a few handfuls over her face, enjoying the prickle of cold on her skin. Afterwards, she sat in the sunniest spot, watching light dance across the water, trying not to think about the life growing inside her.
It still did not feel real. She did not know if it was because she had not had any symptoms or if she had been too broken to notice them. There had been many mornings when she had skipped breakfast and put the loss of appetite down to grief, because every time she opened her eyes and remembered Roul was on the other side of the wall, the heaviness hit her all over again.
Roul.
Surely he would not leave without saying goodbye again, not after last time. He was probably still at the wall with the others, helping.
She sat a little straighter. If she took the horse and left now, she would be gone before her mother woke. She stood, too fast, then doubled over, clutching her side.
‘How many ribs broken?’ came Roul’s voice.
