‘Yes,’ Lyndal agreed. ‘Everyone in attendance, which doesn’t help you much. I gather no one else got sick or died.’
‘No. Fletcher’s questioned the servant who gave you the wine.’ He hesitated before continuing. ‘Now he’s speaking with the rest of them.’
Lyndal’s brow creased. ‘Is he now?’ She knew exactly what the questioning entailed when it was coming from defenders. ‘Where is he?’
‘He won’t want you anywhere near it,’ Thornton said straight away.
Lyndal crossed her arms in front of her. ‘You can either tell me where he is or I can search the whole castle looking for him.’
‘That’s not safe.’
‘Then the first option might be better.’
Roul exhaled, shook his head, and turned to the door. ‘Your sister stays here.’
Eda went to object, but Lyndal raised a finger. ‘Not a word. I only need one bodyguard.’
Eda threw her hands up and walked over to the chair, dropping down into it.
Roul took Lyndal to the north end of the castle, descending the steps into the bustling kitchen below. They exited the small door at the far end, passing a sobbing woman on their way out.
‘That’s never a good sign,’ Lyndal said as she followed Roul. It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the dark, and then she spotted Astin pacing a few feet away. Blood splattered one side of his face.
He stilled when he spotted her. ‘Why the hell aren’t you in bed?’ His accusing eyes went to Roul.
‘The physician said I’m healthy as a horse.’ She walked over, noticing his reddened knuckles. ‘What are you doing? The servants aren’t to blame and you know it.’
‘They are if a poisoned drink made its way to your mouth.’
She exhaled. ‘So your answer is to beat up all the men and make the women cry?’
Astin looked past her to Roul. ‘Leave us.’
The defender nodded before retreating to the kitchen.
When they were alone, Astin met her eyes. ‘I need you to let me do my job.’
‘This isn’t your job, remember? You’re no longer my bodyguard.Youmade that choice.’
He ran a hand down his face. ‘I had to step away. You know I did.’
‘So step away.’
He turned in a circle. ‘I can’t bear to be near you, and I can’t stand being away from you. So what the hell am I supposed to do?’
She looked down when she felt the sting of tears. ‘I’m sorry for that. It was never my intention to come here and mess up your life.’
‘I’m responsible for my mistakes, not you.’
Mistakes.She hugged herself against the frigid air. It was nearing midnight, and the exhaustion of the day had well and truly caught up with her.
‘I should have kept my feelings in check,’ he continued. ‘I should have focused on the job—cared less. And I should never have taken you outside that wall.’
That one tore.
‘I’m in this position because at some point I stopped being a defender.’
‘And started being human?’ she asked.
