‘You should have told me. I would have protected you.’
She started to cry. ‘I couldn’t. He said if I told anyone he would kill our mother—and I had every reason to believe him.’
Astin stopped moving. ‘He doesn’t still—’
‘No. He hasn’t touched me since I was fifteen, since the day Mother found out.’
He stared at her, his stomach rolling. ‘Why have you stayed here all these years? I could have found you work, somewhere to live.’
She looked up at him. ‘Why do you think?’
‘Rose.’ His hands fell to his sides. ‘You stayed to protect her.’
‘Yes, I stayed to protect her, because that’s what a good mother does.’ Presley wiped fresh tears off her cheeks and looked in the direction of the house. ‘I stayed because she’s my daughter.’
Chapter 34
Seven days. Seven days without one word from him. Seven days without his warmth, without his eyes on her. Seven torturous days.
Lyndal spent those days on the terrace and in the gardens. She walked, she sat, she watched the sky. She was waiting for the sun to return, but every day the clouds gathered. And every day it rained. She refused to retreat from it though, hopeful that it might cleanse her of the guilt she had carried every single day since standing in front of Astin and breaking both their hearts.
On day seven, she leaned on the balustrade of the terrace, face turned up to the sky. The colder the drops that fell the better.
Eda and Roul watched her from the doorway, letting her do whatever she needed to in order to be able to face the king for an evening.
Lyndal had confessed everything to her sister, cried out every ugly truth before swearing her to secrecy. No one could know. If Blake found out, Harlan would find out, then Astin. She knew he would never stand for it. He would die trying to free her from that life if he caught even the slightest whiff that it was not of her choosing.
So what exactly is your plan now?Eda had asked.
‘To stop people dying’ had been her response.
To stop Astin from dying.
She would find a way to exist within these walls, because she was a merchant. Internalising pain was a part of life.
So each night, she dined with the king and his guests. Smiling. Behaving. Never looking in Astin’s direction. She pushed beef around her plate, watching Borin’s thin mouth while he talked and studying his hair, wondering what he put in it that made it sit so stiff. That would lead her to think about Astin’s hair, how it was a little longer than the average defender, how it had a slight wave in it. It was pure silk to touch. And his mouth full, his lips slightly upturned, like he was about to tell a joke and was already laughing internally. But those lips had sat in a hard line of late—her fault.
In return for all these unsaid things, the king did not lay a hand on her or ask her to sleep with him again.
Eda appeared next to her on the terrace when the rain stopped, a concerned expression on her face.Apparently you have a dress fitting. Should I have the maid run a bath?
Lyndal let go of the balustrade. It was only a week until the wedding, and she resented every small task to do with it, even if it was simply standing still for the seamstress. ‘No. Let’s take a walk instead.’
Eda and Roul exchanged a look.
‘You always like going to the stables to see the horses,’ Lyndal said, pushing back the hood of her cloak. ‘Let’s go there instead.’
They exited the castle and made their way down to the stables outside the wall. When a groom approached asking if he required a horse, Roul shook his head. The women strolled the length of the stalls, stopping to pet the horses. When they emerged on the other side, they spotted King Borin returning from the farming borough, Thatchere flanking him. Likely not a coincidence that Astin did not accompany the king on those occasions.
Lyndal checked over her shoulder to ensure Roul was not within hearing range. ‘No doubt plotting their next external livestock deal.’
I’m tempted to tell the merchants what’s going on, then join their fight, Eda signed.Would solve a number of problems.
‘And kill a lot of people.’
Borin caught sight of Lyndal as he walked. She saw him sigh before he offered a wave. He had clearly planned to skip any awkward and unnecessary conversation, which suited her perfectly, but then a commotion at the merchant gate made him stop and turn.
Lyndal looked to Roul. ‘Did something happen in the merchant borough?’
