‘And do not fret about your wedding night,’ Fayre continued. ‘There are tricks to ensure a successful consummation, tricks many women have used before you. He need not know that another beat him to it.’
Nausea rose inside Lyndal. ‘I can’t think about that right now.’
‘Of course not. Take some time to collect yourself. Then go to Fletcher and tell him of your decision.’
Lyndal was still a moment, then finally lifted her gaze. ‘Did you know your son is selling livestock to King Edward?’
It was clear by Fayre’s expression that she had no idea. ‘You are mistaken. King Edward has no hold over Chadora.’
Lyndal lifted one shoulder. ‘I really hope you’re right. Can you imagine the uprising if it were found to be true?’ She left the room without bothering to curtsy.
Chapter 33
Astin knew when Lyndal sent for him that her meeting with the queen had not gone to plan. Her tear-stained face and puffy eyes confirmed it. While he knew with every fibre of his body that he was not going to like what she was about to tell him, he was patient as they stood outside the castle wall, away from prying eyes.
‘Just tell me you’re still leaving,’ he said. ‘That’s all I really need to hear right now.’
She looked away, giving him his answer.
‘What happened?’
Lyndal bit her lip before replying. ‘We both knew it was too late for a change of heart.’
He moved sideways to catch her eye. ‘After the wedding is too late. Now is just a very unfortunate time.’ She took a small step back, which bothered him. ‘What did she threaten you with? Whatever it is, I can help if you tell me.’
‘It wasn’t like that.’ She shook her head. ‘She assures me my vision for the merchant borough will come to fruition. I was being pushy, trying to rush through a process that can’t be hurried.’
He closed the distance between them and took hold of her arms. ‘This is horse shit. What are you talking about?Pushy?The man’s a lunatic.’
‘I’m sorrier than I can put into words. The last thing I meant to do was hurt you.’
‘Look at me.’ He shook her. ‘This isn’t about me. We’re getting you out of here foryou.’ Registering the shock on her face, he let her go. ‘I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m trying to understand what happened in there that has you moving in the complete opposite direction.’
‘It’s the same direction I was always moving in,’ she said, gripping her dress. ‘Queen Fayre simply steered me back on course.’
He stared hard at her, trying to read her but failing. ‘So, to be clear, your plan is to remain here, marry the crazy man, and play the virgin bride on your wedding night?That’syour plan?’
Her ears turned red. ‘The queen mother won’t let him get away with bad behaviour again. She’s speaking to him right now about last night, and he listens to her.’
He brought a hand to his forehead. ‘Your naivety actually astounds me at times. I thought you were smarter than this.’
He saw a flash of hurt before she blinked it away.
‘So it’s fine for you to serve and protect a madman year after year, which is of no benefit to anyone, but when I come in with an actual plan that will help people, I’m naive?’
He drew a slow breath. ‘I’m a defender. It’s myjob.’
‘And when I’m queen, I too will have a job.’ She crossed her arms. ‘You never did tell meyourplan. Were you going to get me out, then continue to be his guard dog?’
He dipped his head so he was eye level with her. ‘Myplan?My plan was to step aside and let you dig your own grave. Then you came to me, crying, telling me you’ve changed your mind, and I fell into bed with you like an idiot.’
She looked away. ‘I was confused and scared.’
‘And now you’re fine? Queen Fayre made it all better?’ He began to pace, eyes on his feet. ‘You know, I’m not doing this dance with you over and over again. If she’s forcing your hand, you need to speak up, so I can help you. If you’re actually choosing this for yourself, then you’re on your own from now on. I’m not coming in that room next time to save your arse.’ He paused. ‘And you should know, the other defenders follow the rules around here, so if the king tells them to step aside so he can do as he pleases with you, they’ll step aside.’
He faced her again, registering the hurt expression.
‘Well, it’s comforting to know just how deep your feelings run, defender. You care for my well-being so long as I follow your list of conditions.’
