The Lynx I know wouldn’t hide behind a stack of muscles. She’d fight her own battles.
Another text follows immediately.
He won’t be around forever. He’s not even there right now.
My hands shake as I look around the bedroom, half expecting my father to jump out of the closet. He’s watching me. He’sbeenwatching me. Is he outside right now?
I feel like a sitting duck at Reaper’s place, knowing it’s being staked out. Is it stupider for me to leave or to stay? They both seem like terrible options right now.
I get dressed, coming up with a plan in my head. As much as I loathe my father, he’s right about one thing: Reaper isn’t here. He left after our first kiss, and now he’s left after I’ve opened up my heart, soul, and body to him. Who’s to say he won’t drop me as soon as he finds someone more age-appropriate and experienced?
That thought slams into my chest, knocking the air out of my lungs. I sit on the bed in order to catch my breath, the anticipation of losing Reaper almost too much to bear. I know what I have to do, even if it’s going to break my heart to do it. I pack the rest of my things into my backpack, leaving no trace that I was ever here.
True to his word, Reaper has paid me handsomely over the last several days, giving me enough to get a motel for the night.I’ll be able to think more clearly without Reaper around. My heart drops to my stomach, and tears clog my throat, but I don’t give in to despair. Not yet.
Reaper showed me an alleyway behind his house that leads to the repair shop, as well as the heart of this small Colorado town. I carefully make my way toward the alley, keeping my face hidden while still looking out for suspicious cars and people.
An hour later, I’m across town at a hole-in-the-wall motel with only ten rooms. I took an Uber to a coffee shop I saw earlier, then hopped on a bus that took me all the way up north. After another Uber ride to Main Street, I grabbed a taxi and paid in cash to be dropped off a few blocks away from the motel I’m currently staying in.
It’s too quiet in here. I can hear my heart pounding, the blood rushing through my ears, and reminding me of how alone I am. Always so alone.
The bright morning sun arcs across the sky, then dips below the horizon, ushering in the night. I’ve hardly moved from my position, curled up on my side on the scratchy comforter. I’m paralyzed by fear, by heartbreak, by the inevitability of only ever having myself to depend on.
I must’ve fallen asleep at some point, because when I open my eyes, sunlight floods the room. A fist pounds against the cheap and flimsy plywood door to my room, startling me so badly I fall out of bed. That must’ve been what woke me up.
Shit, it must be my dad.I look around frantically, but I’m trapped. Why did I think I could do this on my own? How stupid could I be? Would things have gone better if I stayed at Reaper’s? I guess it doesn’t matter now.
“Lynx!”
My breath catches in my throat, and I stare at the door, unable to believe my ears.
“Lynx! Please open up, dandelion. It’s Reaper.”
I’m on my feet in the next second, flinging open the door to reveal my beastly biker. He’s out of breath and has a wild look in his eye. Reaper gently pushes me back inside and follows, closing the door with his foot.
“God, Lynx, are you okay? When I came home, your stuff was gone. I thought the worst. I thought… I thought you…”
He lets out a jagged breath and collapses on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. I hate seeing him like this, and I hate even more that I caused it.
“I’m sorry, Lynx,” Reaper says, lifting his head to meet my gaze. His blue eyes are faded and tired as if he has been up all night. “I came home around midnight, and you were gone. I realized what a moron I had been by leaving you. Jesus, how could it be so stupid?” He shakes his head in disappointment at himself. “I was angry at your father, angry at the position he put you in, and angry at myself for not being there for you sooner. Can you ever forgive me?”
I sit down beside Reaper, every muscle in my body aching from exhaustion and heartbreak. I rest my head against his shoulder, letting this small connection bring me back to the present moment.
“I got a text from an unknown number,” I start. “It had to have been my father. He said I was a coward to be hiding behind a stack of muscles, and that you’d eventually leave me. He said you already had.”
“Lynx… Jesus, I played right into his hand, didn’t I?” He turns to face me, opening his arm in invitation. I curl up against his chest, letting him tuck me further into his side “I promise, I’ll never leave you. I realize I sound like a hypocrite, knowing that I basically spent the better part of yesterday at the club instead of with you, but I swear it was all to protect you. Please, please believe me.”
Reaper’s blue eyes latch onto mine, conveying love, tenderness, and regret. “Am I weak for wanting to forgive you?” I whisper. “Am I weak for wanting you in my life?“
“Not at all, dandelion. In fact, you’re the strongest person I know. With or without me. Just like the dandelions you love so much, you’ve endured and grown in all the places no one thought you would. Your beauty may have gone unappreciated in your former life, but I want to be the one to tell you every day how gorgeous you are, how happy you make me, and how much better the world is with you in it.”
“Reaper… You can’t really mean that.”
“I do. And it’s because of your strength and beauty that I love you so much. Never thought I’d say that to another living soul, but there’s no denying how hard and fast I’ve fallen for you.“
Tears form and fall down my cheeks at his confession. “You love me?”
Reaper tucks my hair behind my ears in a familiar and comforting gesture, before rubbing his nose against mine. “I love you more than I thought possible. I admire the hard choices you’ve had to make, and I adore your sassy little mouth. You always know how to make me smile, even when I was trying to hide it. Most importantly, you make me want to be the kind of man you can trust. The kind of man you deserve. I’m not there yet, but I’m hoping he’ll give me another chance.”
