She’s only teasing me to cheer me up, but I’m really not in the mood to discuss Ronan.
Everything else in my life seems to revolve around him, and this friendship feels like the only tether I have to my old life, and right now I’m holding on for dear life.
“Don’t start.”
“Oh, I’m just saying, if I was forced into marrying a mafia boss, I’d be taking every opportunity to admire every inch of muscle, and I meaneveryinch.”
“Jesus, Mila.”
“What? If I’m going to live vicariously through your mafia bride era, I need to know the level of villain-to-lover potential I’m working with.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, trying not to laugh.
“Trust me, he’s all villain.”
“Oh, sothat’show he’s playing it.”
“Mila—”
“You know what I mean. Dangerous men who only get soft for one woman? That shit is like crack to me.”
I groan as I flop back onto the bed. “You’ve been reading too much dark romance. And there’s nothing soft about Ronan Sullivan.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” There’s a beat of silence before her voice softens. “Seriously, though… Are you doing okay?”
I close my eyes and let out a long breath. “Some days are better than others.”
“And Ronan, is he?—”
“Controlling? Intense? Arrogant?”
Confusing.
“So, what are you meant to do all day? Is he letting you work?”
“No, but I want to ask. I used to do the accounting for my father’s side businesses, and I know I could handle Ronan’s if he’d let me. But right now, it seems like he just wants me to sit around and wait for him.”
“Maybe he wants you under him. Sometimes, on top.”
I let out a loud, surprised laugh. “Christ, Mila.”
“Just trying to keep the mood light.” She chuckles.
“Well, mission accomplished. But I am not playing housewife, and I sure as hell am not sleeping with him.”
“Right…” She gives me a knowing look. “That’s totally believable.”
I roll my eyes, hoping she doesn’t see the guilt written all over my face.
If I tell Mila the truth about my wedding night, I won’t hear the end of it, which isn’t helpful when I’m trying to forget it ever happened.
“I’ll ask him eventually. About the job.”
“And if he says no?”
“Then I’ll find another way.”
After chatting for another twenty minutes, I arrange to meet Mila at our favorite coffee place tomorrow. Knowing Ihave something planned outside the house lifts my mood, but it doesn’t last long once the call ends and I’m once again alone.
