“What’s the problem?”
She stares blankly at her menu before lifting her eyes to meet mine, and for a moment, I think she might finally open up and tell me what’s been on her mind ever since we left the penthouse, but then she shrugs and sets her menu on the table.
“Honestly? I don’t even know where to start,” she mutters.
“Start at the beginning.”
She opens her mouth to speak, but when nothing comes out, the lid starts to lift on my anger.
“Your hot and cold act is exhausting,” I state.
Her gaze sharpens as she glares at me. “Are you serious? If anyone’s hot and cold, it’s you. One minute, you want me, and the next you’re tearing me down or mocking my family.”
“That’s not fair.”
“It might not be fair, but it’s true. You say one thing, Ronan, but your actions don’t match your words. I never know which version of you I’m going to get.”
My jaw clenches as her words hang in the air between us.
I can’t deny she has a point, and the truth of it stings more than I care to admit. But I also can’t deny that I want her. Hell, Ineedher. But I’m not good at the emotional stuff, and I never have been.
Fuck it. I guess I can try if it means catching a glimpse of the Ciara I got to know on the plane ride today. The one who felt more like a friend than an enemy.
“I think I’ve been pretty clear about the fact that I want you. Or have you forgotten what happened thirty minutes ago?”
“There’s nothingclearabout it, Ronan. You only want me when it’s on your terms.”
“You’re more than welcome to initiate at any time, sweetheart.” I hope to ignite that fire in her, but it seems my words have the opposite effect.
“It doesn’t matter now anyway.” She blinks back tears as she opens up her menu once more.
“Tine Bhaeg…” I reach for her hand across the table, but she instantly recoils, shoving her hands beneath the table and out of reach.
“Don’t call me that.” Her voice cracks.
What the hell is going on inside her head that has her almost in tears?
I rack my brain as to what it could be, thinking back to the game we played on the plane all the way to when I had her naked body pressed against me, but I come up short.
“I’m going to need you to tell me what’s wrong, Ciara.” I keep my hand on the table. “I can’t read your mind.”
Her throat bobs as she looks anywhere but at me. “I refuse to let myself love you,” she finally says, her voice trembling. “Because you killed my father.”
Her words pierce my heart like a fucking bullet.
This is what this is about? Her god-damned father?
“You don’t know him like I did.” My words come out colder than I intend them to, but I don’t care. When it comes to Ciara’s father, the illusion she has regarding the man he was needs to be shattered. “You have no idea who he really was.”
Her brow furrows as confusion flashes across her face. “What do you mean?”
She deserves to know the truth, but as the words sit on the tip of my tongue, I realize I can’t be the asshole to tell her.
I’d much rather have her hate me than be the one who destroys her.
“I need some air.” I get to my feet.
Ciara’s eyes stay on me as I stalk across the restaurant floor, but I don’t look back. I don’t need to see the look of disappointment on her face, not when it’s already burned into my mind like a brand.
