Ciara pulls back to look up at me, but she keeps her arms locked around my waist, pressing her body flush against mine.
“I know you’re not, but you’ve taken steps to do better, and that’s what counts. I want you to know that I appreciate the effort.” She offers me a smile, and the sight of it breaks me a little.
She shouldn’t look so happy just because I managed to act like a halfway decent human being for once, and that’s when it hits me.
I’m setting myself up to fail.
I can promise Ciara I can change all I want, but the second the fear creeps in when she offers someone else an innocent smile or laughs at a joke that isn’t mine, I lose my goddamn mind. It’s like some animalistic instinct takes over, and I forget everything except the need to protect what’s mine.
I’m not sure that’s something I can fight, and even if I could, I’m not sure Iwantto.
Ciara ismine, and I want the whole goddamn world to know it.
She reaches up to cup my face, offering me a smile and brushing her thumb along the slight stubble coating my jaw. “We’re going to be okay.”
I nod even though I don’t fully believe it.
The truth is, between the mole, the war with Declan, and my own mess of a brain, I don’t know ifI’mgoing to be okay, but for Ciara, I’ll keep trying.
Chapter Twenty-Four
CIARA
“Jesus.”I can’t help but wince when I look at Stephen’s bruised cheek under the harsh lights of the kitchen. “That looks brutal.”
My stomach twists with guilt knowing that the only reason he has this is that he got caught in the crossfire between me and Ronan.
I slide his coffee across the counter toward him.
Stephen gives me a half-smile, waving a hand like I just commented on the weather. “Occupational hazard, I guess.”
“I dread to think what Tamara said.” I start making myself yet another cup of ginger tea. “Please apologize to her from me. Or better yet, pass on my number, and I’ll call her myself?—”
“Ciara.”
I glance over my shoulder at Stephen and frown when I notice the twinkle in his eye.
“Tamara is over the moon.”
“Excuse me?”
“The raise Ronan gave me will be more than enough to pay for both kids to attend every Ivy League school twice over if they want to. I’d personally rather buy a house on Lake Cabo, but according to her, education is more important than vacations.”
I shake my head, trying to hold in my laughter. “This isn’t funny, Stephen.”
He shrugs before leaning against the island. “Just trying to lighten the situation.”
I turn my back on him as I busy myself with making my tea, bowing my head just enough for my hair to fall forward and shield my face.
Stephen might want to make light of what happened, but I can’t stop thinking about his wife and children. Their father got hurt because of me, and while it only resulted in a bruised cheek, it could have been so much worse.
“Ciara, please don’t cry.”
I hadn’t even noticed that I was, but my shoulders are shaking with the force of my sobs.
“I’m so sorry, Stephen.” I turn around to face him. “I should have stopped him. I never thought Ronan would actually?—”
“Hey. Don’t do that. Don’t make this your fault.”
