It gave me just enough room to breathe, but it’s only a matter of time before I run out of air again.
The longer I keep this from him, the harder it will be to finally come clean, but I need more time. Time to accept that this life inside me is real and that I’m going to be a mother. Time toaccept that when I do tell Ronan, it won’t be some emotional, happy family moment.
It will be a storm.
I can already picture it as I tell him he’s going to be a father. His eyes will darken, and his jaw will tick as he fights the urge to say how he really feels.
But he won’t need to. I already know how he’ll feel.
Betrayed.
But I need to get my head on straight first. How can I tell him if it doesn’t even feel real most of the time? So instead, I shift my thoughts to Callum, but I find no relief there either.
He’s my brother, but he’s not the same person anymore. Not really.
I don’t know what deal he made to get me out of this marriage, but I know it will have cost him. When it all comes crashing down on him, because it always does, I can’t be the one expected to clean up his mess, and neither can Ronan.
This situation with Max has wounded our family, and we can’t afford to take any unnecessary risks.
I don’t even know what Ronan plans to do with Callum now that he knows my brother is plotting against him. I didn’t ask, and honestly, I don’t want to know.
Callum got himself into this mess, and it’s up to him to get out of it because now, with a baby on the way, everything has changed, and my loyalty can’t be divided anymore.
From now on, I choose Ronan.
The next morning,I try to hold onto some sense of normalcy, so I decide to text Mila to see if she wants to grab lunch at the deli. We’ve spoken a little since she went back to her place, but I’vealso kept my distance, giving her space to adjust to life without her brother.
She messages me back almost immediately.
That sounds perfect! Meet at 12?
I smile at my phone.
Going for lunch at our favorite spot might not seem like much, but it’s a thread that keeps us tied to our lives before I was pregnant with the heir to the Sullivan empire and Mila still had a brother she could lean on when times got tough.
Me
I’m putting in my order now for an extra turkey club!
It’s a rare day when I actually have an appetite, so I figure I might as well stock up on food because I have no doubt that I’ll be right back to feeling nauseous again tomorrow.
Mila
You know you can’t have deli meat, right? It’s not safe for the baby…
“And there goes my good mood.”
I set my phone down on the bathroom counter and get to work fixing my hair. I even put on some makeup, and for the first time in weeks, I actually look like myself again.
But of course, it doesn’t last when Ronan strolls into the walk-in closet to find me standing in my underwear, sifting through my clothes for something to wear.
“Going somewhere?” His tone is sharp.
I try not to recoil as his eyes sweep over my half-naked body.
The changes are subtle, not enough for most people to notice, but Ronan has come to know my body inside out. So, I quickly throw on a sweater to hide my swollen breasts, just to be safe.
“I’m going for lunch with Mila,” I keep my back turned as I finish getting dressed.
