“It’s going to be all right.” She squeezes my fingers as we head toward the elevators.
I can barely take a full breath as we take the elevator up to the maternity wing.
Mila, on the other hand, is the picture of ease. I’m sure this whole ordeal is providing a welcome distraction from her grief, so I happily let her take the lead. She gets me checked in, and then we’re led down a long corridor and into Dr. Lane’s consulting room.
The hospital room smells like antiseptic, and I find myself fighting the urge to throw up as I lie back in the chair, barely listening to Dr. Lane as she talks me through what to expect from this appointment.
Mila sits quietly beside me, her hand still gripping mine.
I’m overwhelmingly grateful for her presence, but I also can’t ignore the fact that Ronan should be the one sitting beside me.
“Ciara, your blood work confirms that you’re about six to seven weeks along. Your hormone levels are consistent with a healthy early pregnancy.”
I exhale as I rest my free hand on my stomach.
“When will I be able to see the baby?”
“We’ll schedule your first ultrasound in about two weeks to confirm viability and dates. In the meantime, I’ll get you started on some prenatal vitamins and order another round of blood work just to keep an eye on everything.”
This isreal. I’m having a baby.
I glance at Mila, and her eyes shine with tears.
“Congratulations.” Dr. Lane offers me a dimpled smile.
For the first time in days, the idea of a baby doesn’t send me spiraling. Instead, it makes me smile.
After the appointment is over,Mila and I head upstairs to the hospital café where Cormac is waiting for us. Not wanting to head back home to my gilded cage just yet, I suggest that we have something to drink, which Cormac begrudgingly agrees to.
I order a hot chocolate, my stomach still too weak for anything heavier, and Mila and I find a small table near the window that looks out over the city below.
Cormac sits at a table nearby, his attention glued to his phone, looking about as bored as you would expect for someone babysitting two women on a fake therapy trip.
Mila stirs sugar into her coffee. “You okay?”
“I don’t even know how to describe what I’m feeling. It’s like I’m excited and terrified all at once. But I can’t help but fear that if I let myself enjoy it too much, something bad will happen.”
“That’s normal.”
“I want this baby, Mila. I really want it.”
“Then that’s all that matters.” Mila offers me a small smile. She still looks exhausted and pale, but somehow, despite everything, she’s finding the strength to support me even when she’s in the throes of grief.
I don’t know what I did to deserve such a friend.
I look down at the steam curling up from my mug and feel the weight of this news settle on my shoulders.
I wrap my hands around my mug to warm them. “I’m just scared of what Ronan will think. Ronan’s already under so much pressure, and things between us… Well, they’re not great right now. What if this pushes him over the edge?”
Mila’s quiet for a second, then she reaches over and squeezes my hand. “You don’t have to tell him today. But don’t wait too long, Ciara. He deserves to know.”
I nod, even though my stomach turns at the thought.
We sit in silence for a few minutes, and I sneak a glance at Cormac.
He’s still on his phone, but I know if he’s anything like Ronan, he’ll still be completely aware of what is going on around him.
It’s strange. We’re technically family, and yet I barely know the guy.
