“Those kids are going to grow up without a father. Because of you, Ronan.”
“No. Because he chose to put you in danger. Besides, those kids and Tamara will want for nothing.”
“Money won’t bring him back.”
“I’m not just offering them money. Despite everything, Stephen was a part of this family, and by extension, so are his boys.”
She shakes her head. “No. Don’t do that. Don’t bring them into this world. They deserve the chance at a normal life away from all of this.”
I say nothing as I watch every emotion flicker in Ciara’s eyes until finally, she lets out a long breath, and her shoulders sag.
“I hate that this is our life.” Her hands land on her stomach.
“We’re going to get through this. I’m going to kill Declan, and then we’re going to raise this baby together.”
She exhales shakily. “And if something happens to you?”
“It won’t.”
She looks up at me beneath damp lashes. “You can’t promise that.”
“No. But I can promise you that Declan Walsh will not be the reason I won’t come home to you every night. He’s on borrowed time.”
Ciara’s eyes fill with tears once again, and this time, when I reach for her, she lets me hold her tightly, but I doubt it’s because she forgives me. I think it’s because she knows if this ends badly, this might be our last chance to hold each other.
Chapter Thirty-Six
CIARA
Howmany more people are going to die because of me? First it was Max, then the couple at the safe house, and now Stephen…
I’m no stranger to death. I’ve been around it my whole life. Yet, I’ve never felt like this before, as if everyone I touch is destined for a bullet in their skull.
I cling to Ronan, needing the warmth of his body and to make sure his heart is still beating.
But for how long?
“I feel cursed,” I choke.
Ronan sinks his fingers into my hair, holding me against him. “How so?”
“Everyone keeps dying because of me.”
I can’t stop hearing the gunshot in my ears. I screw my eyes shut, but that only makes me see the image of Stephen as he closed his eyes and accepted his fate.
He knew he was going to die, and his final plea was to ensure that Ronan protects his family. Surely, that doesn’t make him the bad guy here, does it? But the alternative is that Ronan is, and I don’t think I have the energy to hate him.
My chest feels too tight, and I can’t seem to take a full breath.
Stephen betrayed me. Iknowthat. He was going to deliver me to Declan Walsh on a silver platter to do God-knows-what with me, and yet I can’t blame him for it.
I could tell how terrified he was. The way his voice cracked when he begged Ronan to spare his wife and children. He was desperate, but he wasn’t cruel. He didn’twantto hurt me.
He might have been nothing but a bodyguard, but to me, he was more than just hired muscle. He was myfriend. He listened to me when I needed someone to talk to and brought me tea when I was feeling sick. Those aren’t the actions of a monster.
Stephen was just a man forced to make an impossible choice, and now he’s a corpse in a trunk.
My stomach twists, and bile creeps up my throat, but I force it back down, blinking hard against the tears burning in my eyes.
