The silence stretches on again. It’s not as uncomfortable as before, but it’s heavy.
I stare down at my mug of cocoa, my mind feeling like a storm I can’t quiet.
After a few minutes, Stephen speaks again. “I’ve seen Ronan after a kill, after a war, after his father died.”
I glance up at him.
“But I’ve never seen him look the way he did walking out of this house tonight.”
“What did he look like?”
“He looked… afraid.”
My chest tightens. “Then why won’t he let me help?”
Stephen shrugs. “Maybe he doesn’t know how to let you.”
“I’m not made of glass.”
“No, you’re not. But Ronan’s afraid you’ll shatter anyway.”
I look away, blinking hard. “I hate this.”
“You know, he’s not the only one carrying things.”
I meet his eyes again. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve been through hell lately, and what I’m trying to say is that you don’t need to keep pretending you’re fine.”
The lump in my throat returns.
I want to argue, to insist Iamfine, but I’m not. “I’m scared too. Not just for Ronan and our baby, but for Mila and Callum and… well,everyone. It feels like the world is on fire and I’m walking barefoot through it.”
Stephen nods slowly. “You’re stronger than he is, you know?”
I blink. “What?”
“He’s fire, but you’re stone, Ciara. You take the hit and absorb the damage, but you don’t break.”
I can’t speak for a second, too stunned by his words. I never thought of myself as particularly strong. Fiery? Yes. But not strong.
“Right now, I feel more like a pile of rubble than stone.”
Stephen huffs a laugh. “Don’t worry, Ronan will come back. He always does.”
That might be true, but will he come backwhole?
Chapter Twenty-Nine
RONAN
My body vibratesin my seat from the power of the engine as I race back toward the city in my blacked-out Mercedes.
The image of Max’s body jerking from the force of the bullet as it hits his skull plays on repeat behind my eyes as I press my foot to the floor, my knuckles white as I grip the steering wheel.
“Fuck this.” I press a few buttons on my steering wheel.
A few seconds later, Kieran’s voice filters through the speakers as he answers my call.
