Dietrich laughed. “Where’s the fun in that?”
John shook his head. “You don’t want to hurt her, I know, but there are more ways to hurt a woman than by being in love with her. Do you understand?”
Dietrich frowned. How did John know what he’d suspected himself only a little while ago? He didn’t want to hurt Ella, but how could he avoid it?
“Ella doesn’t need me like that,” he said. “She has her family.”
“And if her family isn’t enough?” John said, as if he could hear the thoughts going through Dietrich’s head. “You and I know, of all people, that family isn’t always the people in front of you or the people that share your blood. They may be part of your family, but they’re not all of it. And if she has found a family in you, why are you denying both of you something that could be so wonderful?”
Dietrich shook his head. “She didn’t find a family in me. John, I’m simply the first person who ever noticed her. And that’s the reason she wanted me near, not because I’m the only person capable of loving her.”
John stared at him. “If that’s what you think…”
“It’s what I know,” Dietrich said quietly. “She doesn’t need me, and I don’t need her. We’ll both be just fine once we figure out how to adjust to this new normal. Until then, we’ll just carry on.”
John let out a slight chuckle. “If that’s what you think,” he said. “Who am I to argue? I’m not your boss.”
Dietrich shook his head, but his heart wasn’t in it.
“No, you’re not,” he said quietly.
When the job of stable master had become available all those years ago, John had been the proper choice. He had been there much longer than Dietrich, not to mention he was older and more experienced, but John had turned the position down to have more time with his family.
“I wish you were the boss sometimes,” Dietrich admitted.
“I think you’ll figure it out,” John said, slapping him on the shoulder. “Now, let’s feed these animals so I can go home. My daughter is making soup.”
“What’s your daughter like?” Dietrich asked.
John chuckled. “She’s far too young for you,” he said. “You’ll have to figure something else out.”
And with that, he turned and left, leaving Dietrich there with Turnip, who reached over and tried to nibble on his hair.
Why did everything have to be so complicated?
Chapter twenty
Ella
The two weeks before the ball passed faster than Ella had ever dreamed they would. Between dancing lessons, etiquette lessons, visits with Beatrice—who had become Regina’s new best friend—and avoiding Dietrich as much as he avoided her, the days blurred together.
Tonight was the night of the commoners’ ball, and the entire estate was in a flurry. The duke had arranged it so that everyone would get a chance to attend, including the staff. They would take turns doing their jobs and attending as guests, and everyone was excited.
Everyone except Dietrich.
Ella hadn’t seen him in a few days, but she’d heard rumors that he had declared that, as the stable master, he would not be attending. Instead, he would be managing the visitors’ horses the entire time. When her father had heard that, he had frowned and muttered something under his breath before sending someone to fetch Dietrich.
She wished she could have been there to see what happened, but her stepmother had pulled her into preparations in her room with her sisters. She hadn’t had a chance to see how Dietrich had reacted.
But now she was getting dressed, and she still wasn’t sure if she would see Dietrich or not. The uncertainty might kill her.
And yes, that was an exaggeration—and Tabitha had hated when she exaggerated—but she didn’t care, and Tabitha wasn’t here.
She wanted him there, even if he had reservations about it. She didn’t know if her past family would be there or not, but if she had to face them, she wanted to face them with him by her side. Her true family was wonderful, but they didn’t know what Tabitha and her stepsisters had done to her.
It was something she had thought about quite a lot over the past couple of days, and she knew she couldn’t say anything to her father about it. If she did, he would force Dietrich to be there, and she didn’t want that.
She wanted Dietrich to want to be there, which might have sounded odd, but it was true. And if he didn’t want to be there, she didn’t want to force him, even if she would be devastated if he didn’t show up.
