She looked down at him, her eyes full of trust, and it was all he could do not to kick himself for starting this. He should have left well enough alone.
But then she put her hands on his shoulders, and he helped her down from the horse, her body sliding down his.
Instead of pulling away, she stood there, waiting.
If she had been anyone else, he would have let her go—but he couldn’t.
He took a step back. “I think we should tell them soon,” he said, looking down at the ground.
It was easier that way. He didn’t have to see the disappointment in her eyes.
“I agree,” she said. “We could take a carriage to pick up Beatrice, if you want to tell them now?”
“Now is one option,” Dietrich said. “But you don’t have to if you’re not ready.”
Ella looked at him, her blue eyes piercing through his soul.
“I thought you wanted me to tell them,” she said quietly.
He did. And he didn’t. He didn’t know what he thought or what to say.
Of all the times for his heart to betray him, now was an awful time.
“You need to tell them. I know you do. I just can’t help wondering what could have been if things were different.” The words were sticking in his throat.
“If you didn’t work for my father?”
“If you weren’t a lady, and if your father wouldn’t have my head for even looking at you.”
“You’re not really scared of my father,” she said, glancing at him sideways.
“No,” he admitted. “Not at all. Your father is wonderful, and I’m so glad I work for him. He has been very good to me and my mother, and I know he’ll take care of you. And that is what matters. It doesn’t matter that there’s a possibility of something between us, or that I’m starting to feel like you might be the first girl I could fall for. And...”
He stopped. Why was he saying this? What could she do about any of it?
He couldn’t do this to her.
“And it’s not fair to you to tell you any of this, so I’ll stop. You deserve the world, you deserve to find your family, and I can’t be the one holding you back. Because you, Ella, are perfect. And the duke has been missing you your whole life, and I won’t be the one to stand in the way of his happiness. I won’t be the one to keep him from finding his daughter.
“So, yes, I think we should tell them now, and I think you should go live your life with your family. I will go back to working in your father’s stable and pretend that I haven’t enjoyed every moment we’ve spent together in the past few weeks.
“And I think—”
Ella threw herself at him, her hands grabbing his shirt and her lips pressing into his with a ferocity he never would have imagined from her.
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight before realizing what was happening and trying to let go. But she only pulled him closer, kissing him harder, until he gave in and held her close, letting himself feel for just a moment what it would be like if Ella was his.
It felt wonderful.
It felt right.
It felt perfect.
Until she pulled away. “I’m sorry,” she said, looking down at her feet. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Dietrich reached out to lift her chin so she was looking at him. “Perhaps not, and yet, I don’t regret it.”
He let his hand fall away and watched as she gave him a half-hearted smile before her hand disappeared into her pocket, as it often did.
