Mrs. Jenkins shook her head. “That’s not how this works, dearie,” she said indulgently. “This is your wedding. If you had to marry him in solitude the first time, the least I can do is make this the grandest event possible.”
It seemed hardly fair that she had to make all the decisions alone. “Speaking of my husband, shouldn’t he be here helping with this?”
“I believe he’s talking with the menfolk about setting up a perimeter,” Mrs. Jenkins said. “I think it’s probably best for you to just do the deciding.”
Beatrice sighed. Of course he was busy. What good was a husband if he didn’t help you make all the decisions you didn’t want to make yourself?
She would just have to choose and hope that he didn’t mind any of the results.
Though he didn’t seem likely to mind any decisions she made—if anything, he seemed more likely to want her to be happy no matter what.
The thought was so lovely she couldn’t quite stand it. After years of being ignored and belittled by the man who should have loved her most, the fact that she had found someone who seemed willing to love her no matter what was thrilling.
Did he love her, though, or was it simply her imagination?
“You seem lost in thought, my lady,” Mrs. Jenkins said. “Can I help with anything?”
Beatrice turned to Mrs. Jenkins. “Do you think Alexander will ever love me?” she asked.
He’d come so close to saying something last night…and she’d thought maybe it would be that he loved her. But he hadn’t said anything else and had even seemed to be avoiding her this morning, despite last night.
Mrs. Jenkins’ eyes widened. “Now that’s a question I wasn’t expecting,” she said.
But her eyes softened as she sat down next to Beatrice. “I think that young man of yours has a very good head on his shoulders and he genuinely cares. Despite the fact that everything in his life seems to be going wrong most of the time, he has never once taken it out on anyone else and has always tried to do what’s best for everyone around him. I think he could be easily convinced to love you if he thought it was in your best interest for him to do so.”
Beatrice shook her head. “I don’t want to convince him to fall in love with me. I want him to just fall in love with me.”
Mrs. Jenkins shrugged. “I find that love is a fickle thing,” she said. “Sometimes it’s hard to know whether you love someone because you’ve fallen, or because you’ve chosen to.”
Beatrice pondered that for a moment. Would he choose to love her?
“And even when you’ve fallen in love, it doesn’t stay those happy butterflies forever. Love is work, dearie, and for those who are willing to put in the work, it is rewarding and wonderful.” Mrs. Jenkins smiled softly to herself. “I think if you were to convince Lord Alexander that allowing him to love you is worth the potential heartbreak, he would work for the rest of his life to love you as hard as he could. And you would have to do the same.”
“I am willing to do the same,” Beatrice said. “I just don’t know that I’m capable of it.” Tears filled her eyes at the words, even asshe tried to hide them. From what she’d gathered over the years, her mother’s disappearance hadn’t been foul play. She’d simply given up on her husband and daughter and disappeared.
What if she did the same thing to Alexander?
Mrs. Jenkins reached over and patted her hand. “I understand, dearie,” she said. “I’ve gathered from your young friend that you didn't have the easiest start.”
Beatrice’s ears burned at the thought of Dietrich sharing her life story with Mrs. Jenkins. He never did know when to keep his mouth shut.
“But he told me that despite it all, you are one of the most amazing young women he has ever met, and that if you weren’t practically a sister, he would have already tried to sweep you off your feet. But given your friendship, he thought it best that you had married Lord Alexander.” Mrs. Jenkins laughed. “He is an odd one, that friend of yours, but he is a good man.”
“I think he is, too,” Beatrice agreed. “I suppose you’re right, though. I should allow myself to love my husband…even if I’m scared.”
“Love can be scary,” Mrs. Jenkins said, wrapping her arm around Beatrice’s shoulder and giving her a squeeze, “but I think you’ll find that it’s worth it, dear.”
She let go of Beatrice and stood. “Now, why don’t you run along for a bit. If you truly don’t care about the linens, I can make that decision for you. I think you should go look for Lord Alexander.”
“Thank you,” Beatrice said, nearly hugging the older woman in relief.
Beatrice hurried out of the library, eager to escape the other decisions, and almost ran into Alexander.
“Hello,” he said, reaching out to steady her as she stumbled.
“Hello,” she said shyly. “What are you doing?”
“I was looking for you,” he said. “I heard it’s almost dinner time, and I wanted to see if you would take a short walk with me before then. I know how much you like to walk outside, and most of the snow has melted.”
