“We are.” Why did Jax look so stiff?
I rolled my eyes. “I see. You need me to negotiate with them so you can disembark. What are you after? Do you think they’ll compensate you for my burning your treasure? Or am I a prisoner in truth now, and a hostage, too?”
Jax’s eyes were dark and almost unreadable—but I couldn’t shake the sense that he was carrying sorrow behind them.
“The negotiating is done,” he said, his voice flat. “You have four minutes to join your professors on deck.”
I felt as though I were sinking. “What do you mean? What have you done, Jax?”
He couldn’t look at me. Not really. His gaze was fixed just above my eyes, like there was something on my forehead besides my dwarvish red eyebrows, which were pitched high.
I stood, swaying a quick second before I tensed every muscle in my body. I wouldn’t appear weak in front of him. Not ever again.
“Your professors can explain our bargain to you,” he finally answered, “if they so choose. You’re not my problem now. Not for the next year, and maybe not ever again.”
I was so used to growing hot and my cheeks burning around Jax, it was a shock when I turned cold. “What in Aestas’s name did you do?” I rasped.
“What needed to be done.” He crossed his arms, muscles flexing beneath the black ink that marked them. “You of all people should understand.”
“You really are heartless, aren’t you?” I laughed bitterly. “You’ll never forgive me for destroying your precious treasure.”
Jax’s eyes lightened just a shade as he arched a challenging, scarred brow. “Would you want me to?”
“It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?”
I huffed, turning to collect my things—only to discover I had little else but the clothes on my back, and ones borrowed from the other women on the crew during wash days and for sleeping. Those, I left where they were. There was nothing of mine here but my sorceress’s “go bag.”
Nothing at all.
But once, I’d thought Jax might actually be mine.
“What a fool I’ve been,” I muttered as I slung the little bag over my shoulder. I brushed by Jax as I turned towards the cabin door. That little bit of contact left me cringing.
Still, I stopped as he grasped my arm gently, keeping me from leaving the captain’s cabin.
“I thought you were falling for me once,” Jax said. “But if you were in love with me, you never would’ve destroyed the Queen of the Sea. You would’ve understood everything it meant to me. To all of my crew.”
“So you choosing the treasure over me was just a selfless act, was it?” I sneered at him. “How could I ever have fallen for you? You never trusted me. You never let me feel like part of your crew. Maybe that’s so you’d never have to consider whatIneeded fromyou. I’m sorry I’m last in your thoughts, Jax, and I’m even more sorry that I was starting to feel glad we’d met.”
His expression was pained, but I didn’t believe it. Even now, all he was thinking about was that stupid treasure. Even now, he thought like a child that there was some way to have both things he desired.
Because that’s what was in his eyes, mixed with sorrow. He wanted me to beg him to change his mind and stay with me. He wanted me to behis.But I was not a toy.
“You aren’t last in my thoughts, Sofie,” Jax said, his voice quiet. “But you aren’t the only one with a difficult duty to carry out, either.”
“Then this is for the best,” I said, wishing my lower lip would stop its foolish quivering. “Goodbye, Jax. I hope we never meet again.”
He removed his hand, letting me leave. But at the last moment, he spun, pinning his arms on either side of me so my back was against the door. It all happened so fast, I barely managed a squeak of surprise.
His face was so close to mine, pitched down as if we were two lovers about to kiss. But we’d always been something moreandless than that. So much less.
“For what it’s worth, Sofie,” he said, his eyes dark as they pinned me in place against the door, “if it’s worth anything.” He paused, laughing softly, removing one hand from beside me so he could rake it through his hair. “The man I was before the curse would’ve sailed with you for the rest of his life. He would’ve chosen you over the treasure, too. But we aren’t meant to be. Not in this lifetime.”
“Gods help you, you’re more of a coward than I thought!” I snapped, for once not thinking before I spoke. My own anger took me by surprise, clenching my hands into fists and reddening my face. “It was still your choice to make. You didn’t make the right one, and you can’t even admit it!”
He said nothing to that, only stepped back, removing the cage of his arms. So I wheeled and threw open the door before he could sweet talk me with something even more painful to hear.
But that wasn’t Jax’s way. He always had to twist the dagger.
