“Not half as glad as I am to see you,” the cook answered, panting. He slid over the side of the boat, coughing and gasping while it rocked. He locked eyes with me, and his grin widened. “That whirlpool—was that you? Saved my hide, I reckon. Pulled me right out of the wreckage once I found my way to the air. Some spell, that was. Some spell.”
But I wished, with all my heart, that it could’ve been something more. That I could’ve cast it faster, or fought better or, or—something.Anything had to be better than this.
At last, the boat stabilized. Jax began to row again, and I returned to Oasis’s care, busying my mind.
All the fear, anger and grief whirring inside me would have to wait.
Chapter seventeen
Jax
Violethadmebriefedon injuries toTemerity’screw before my boots hit the deck. It was all done in a removed tone, her face impassive, even though I knew she was grieving the Lady’s loss and stricken over Oasis’s injuries.
The Lady de Gorm had joined my first crew. We’d sailed together for some five years before Violet arrived, young and trembling in an ill-fitting dress. I never knew who Violet had been before the Lady found her in a dockside public house, but by the time the Lady and the crew who’d gone with her—Oasis, the now retired old brawler Cerulian, and Cyan—were through with the place, the proprietors were tossed out into the street, where they soon went to the gods, and two dozen girls and young ladies were escorted onto my favored ship at the time,Elegance.
In the months that followed, we dropped them at whichever port suited them best on our itinerary. One by one or occasionally in pairs or a trio, they left our care. But not Bette,who became Marine, now first mate of my shipDog. Not Tira, who became my fourth wife, a skilled thief whose talents the pub owners had once applied for their gain, who’d been sure there was no treasure out of her reach and paid for it with her life. And not the waifish young Colette, who became our Violet.
The Lady de Gorm had been like an elder sister to all three. There was no jealousy when Violet ascended the ranks ahead of her; de Gorm claimed someone had to watch my back. And she had, all these years she sailed with me.
Her loss was not a thing I could understand—not yet. She was too big a presence, too fierce and pugnacious and alive to not be here. But there was a gaping chasm already forming, deepening each time I glanced over my shoulder out of habit, seeking the brave pirate who had been at my side since the start.
The one place I could not look was at Oasis. I could not let myself feel the gravity of her wounds, or the threat of losing her, too. Most of these pirates were like family to me, but in Oasis’s case, that meant something else. She was a sister to me, her parents looking after me after my mother died, until I took my first berth as a cabin boy. So I let Sofie fuss over her while Violet hovered and barked orders for bandages and some rum to cleanse the wound, and made my way to the captain’s cabin.
The room was filled with the scent of spices. Everywhere I looked, a subtle feminine touch had been added to its furnishings, most obviously to the bedding. How had this cabin been mine just a few weeks ago, before I’d acquiredBlue Moon?Now I felt as though I was intruding.
Checking my clothing for blood, I sat down on the edge of the captain’s bed—now mine again. It wasn’t unusual for me to change ships, dropping the appointed captain to first mate for however long I abided there. Today, I felt woefully out of place. Who knew Violet liked frilly pillows so much?
At least Sofie would like it here, I thought. It was more cozy than I had ever made any of my captain’s cabins. Violet had added a soaking tub, nestled into a corner where it was surrounded by our carpenter’s handiwork, keeping it in place during rough seas. I eyed the fresh woodwork warily.
After my time onBlue Moon,this once-familiar cabin now looked enormous. There was enough room to sling a hammock so Sofie wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor. Maybe after a good night’s sleep, she’d even find it in her heart to remove the curse on me so I could make use of that tub.
Who was I kidding? After the way she’d looked at me when I put the Lady out of her misery, I’d be lucky if she didn’t find a way to add a third curse.
I might as well add Sofie to the day’s losses. I was so sure she’d been warming to me. I shouldn’t have wanted that, but I did. I shouldn’t have been thinking of her at all except as a tool to remove this curse. Well. Both curses.
But gods help me, I’d wanted it. I’d wantedher.
The void in my chest ripped open after that. I allowed myself a few tears, then rose to cleanse all evidence from my face with Violet’s blue and white porcelain toilet set, the water ready and waiting in the ewer. I poured it into the matching basin, where I soon turned it red.
The knife wound from the pirate’s ball had reopened a touch. I stripped off my clothing above the waist and tried to clean it carefully, feeling like a baby as I sucked in a sharp breath.
That unfortunate moment was, of course, when Sofie walked in.
She stood staring at my half-turned back, wide-eyed. She had enough time to memorize all my tattoos before she said anything. “The captain told me to come in here.”
“I’m the captain,” I said gruffly. “Violet is now first mate.”
Sofie nodded as if this made sense to her, which I knew it didn’t. I turned back to the washbasin as she shuffled across the cabin, trying my best to pretend she wasn’t there as I hunted for a needle and thread. It was right where I’d left it, in a drawer under the toilet table.
By the time I finished up, Sofie had plopped herself onto the side of the bed, exactly where I’d been sitting.
“Did you kill Aoki?” she asked, her voice so quiet I could barely hear it over the sudden ringing in my ears.
Against my every instinct, I wanted to be honest with her.
“Did I kill the first mate hiding in a cabin while his shipmates were under fire or dying? Yes. Yes I did.”
“But did he betray you? To Blackbeard?”
