“Do you know what it’s like to walk into a room and know everyone’s already decided who you are?” she asks.
I want to say yes, but I don’t know if it’s the same for her as it is for me.
She doesn’t wait for me to answer. “When I got here, I was the scholarship girl. The board’s little social experiment. They tracked everything—my grades, my spending, even what I ate in the dining hall. Then something happened and… well, let’s just say Colton saved me and now I’m living my happily ever after. You’ll get yours too, just… try not draw attention to yourself. You may be a Marcus, but the girls here are cunts and they do not give afuck.”
She looks away, down the empty hall. “But it sucks, always being alone.”
The confession is so quiet I almost miss it.
“I’m not… I’m not like you. Strong, I mean,” I say. It comes out smaller than I want.
Eve gives me a look, then shakes her head. “Sure you are. You just haven’t figured out how to be, yet.”
I don’t know if that’s a compliment or a curse.
“That one’s your room. Wanna go back down and we can chill in the lounge the poor kids hang in? It’s way more chill than the dining hall at this hour." She giggles. “Plus, they have my favorite chips in the vending machine.”
“Sure.” I say, feeling myself gain confidence the longer she talks.
We walk again, down the service stairs, past the archives, then into a side lounge with mismatched couches and a vending machine that’s older than either of us. Eve grabs a can of soda from the machine and offers it to me. I shake my head.
She pops the tab and takes a long drink. “You want the real rules?” she asks. “Ignore what the Board tells you. Don’t trust the legacies; they’ll sell you out for clout every time. Never let anyone see you cry, and never, ever let them see you bleed.”
I nod, absorbing every word.
She wipes her mouth on her sleeve. “Professors: Don’t trust Mr. Henley. He likes to make an example of girls who don’t play by the rules. Mr. Kelly in the library is safe. The rest, just keep your head down.”
She looks at me, and for the first time, there’s no armor in her eyes. Just tiredness, and something like hope.
“Your last name is both shield and target here. Your father and brother kept you hidden for a reason. It’s only a matter of time before everyone figures out what that reason is.”
A chill creeps up my spine. I try to picture my father and brother plotting to protect me, and all I see is a cage with thicker bars.
I shiver, even though the room is warm.
“What do you want from me?” I ask. The words taste like defeat.
Eve stares at me for a long moment. I expect her to laugh, or shrug, or say something clever. She doesn’t.
“Everyone deserves one person who isn’t using them for something,” she says. “I’m not here for a favor. I just… I don’t like seeing good people get crushed.”
I don’t know what to say. I want to tell her I’m not a good person, that I’m not even sure what I am anymore. Instead, I just sit there, numb and raw.
We stay in the lounge for a while. Eve tells me stories about the school, the hidden passageways and the best places to nap, the time she filled the legacy girls’ shampoo bottles with mayonnaise. I find myself laughing, once, and the sound feels strange in my mouth.
When the bell rings for next period, Eve stands.
“You coming?” she asks.
I hesitate, then nod.
We walk back through the halls, together this time.
For the first time, I wonder what it would feel like to want something just for myself.
I think I could get used to it.
Chapter 2: Julian
