I’m alive. Free. Sanctioned.
And completely unable to manage the one thing that matters.
Chapter 20
Nadia
It’s evening. The cafeteria is busier than usual—shift change bringing multiple teams together at once. The noise is familiar. Comforting. Voices layered over the clatter of trays and utensils, the aroma of hot food, the easy rhythm of people who work together and trust each other with their lives.
This is home. Has been since I got here.
I grab a tray and load it with food I’m not sure I can eat. My appetite has been unpredictable since the heat cycle started, and even though it’s waning now, my stomach still feels unsettled. But I need to maintain appearances. Need to prove I’m fine. Normal. Ready to get back to work.
Not driven by my wolf, who wants things I won’t give her.
Not here. Not now.
I scan the room and spot them at our usual table near the windows—Mara, Ember, Luke, Kieran. My people. My comrades in arms. I can’t believe I almost turned my back on them forever.
Mara sees me first and waves enthusiastically. “Nadia! Get over here. We’re taking bets on whether the cafeteria meatloaf is actually beef or an elaborate conspiracy involving questionable protein sources.”
Vintage Mara—turning dinner into a paranormal investigation.
I cross to their table and slide into the empty seat between Ember and Kieran. “My money’s on questionable protein sources.”
“See?” Mara points at me triumphantly. “Nadia gets it. Luke thinks I’m being paranoid.”
Luke—tall, dragon, Craven clan—gives Mara a look that’s equal parts exasperated and fond. “I think you see conspiracies in everything. Last week, you were convinced the new coffee blend was designed to make us complacent.”
“Itwassuspiciously smooth,” Mara defends. “No coffee should be that easy to drink. Something’s wrong with it.”
Ember laughs and leans into Luke’s shoulder. “Don’t encourage her. She’ll start a podcast episode about it.”
“Already recorded,” Mara says cheerfully. “Drops Thursday. ‘The Great Seattle Coffee Conspiracy: What They Don’t Want You To Know.’”
The easy banter wraps around me like a weighted blanket. This is what I needed. Normal conversation. Friends who don’t ask complicated questions. Just… this.
Except Kieran is quiet beside me. He’s picking at his food without eating much, his expression distant. He does that sometimes—gets lost in memories he doesn’t talk about. Three years as a Syndicate prisoner leaves marks that don’t heal easily.
“How are you doing?” I ask him quietly.
He glances at me. His eyes are amber-gold, haunted. “Fine. You?”
“Fine.”
We’re both lying. We both know it. But neither of us pushes.
Mara, however, has no such reservations. “So, Nadia. All that time in the wilderness with a mysterious defector. That’s basically the plot of every enemies-to-lovers romance novel ever written. Tell me everything. Did he brood handsomely? Did you have to huddle for warmth?”
My face heats immediately. “It wasn’t like that.”
It pretty much was.
“Mmm-hmm.” Mara’s eyes sparkle with mischief. “Close quarters. Adrenaline. Chemistry. I’m just saying, if this were a movie, there would definitely be a scene where—”
“Mara.” Ember cuts her off gently but firmly. “Maybe we don’t interrogate Nadia about her classified mission?”
“It wasn’t a mission,” I say. The correction comes out sharper than I mean it to. “I resigned. Went rogue. Viktor didn’t authorize anything.”
