So did I.
“I hope you find someone here too,” I said, offering her a small smile, even though my insides were twisting with guilt. “I’ll make it my life goal.”
Paloma blinked, then smiled. “Weirdly, I believeyou.”
Jessica leaned forward, marshmallow forgotten. “How about you, Maggie? What’s your story? Do you have an ex?”
Maggie shook her head, eyes downcast.
“I mean, I’ve dated. But nothing serious ever came my way. It’s like I’m the starter, and someone else is always the finisher. Like I’m never good enough.”
I wrapped an arm around Maggie. All her self-doubt hit me like a tidal wave. I was going to have to help her with that. Even though I doubted myself more than ever.
“Or maybe they just weren’t good enough for you,” I said.
She rested her head on my shoulder.
“I tell myself that lie all the time.” She giggled.
“I don’t think it’s a lie.”
“Of course it’s not,” Paloma chimed in. “It’s these men.”
“Yeah!” Jessica and Brinley shouted in unison.
Brinley turned, eyes gleaming. “Okay, Cassie—what about you?” she sang.
“Me?” Cassie shrugged. “I’m just here for a good time. Men are tools.”
We all laughed. Even me. Although I felt like crying.
Because I really was ruining the world. And I wasn’t sure I could undo the damage I’d done.
I was beginning to think this quest wasn’t about unlocking my heart. It was penance.
Because, really, after all the strife I’d clearly caused, did I deserve a love story of my own?
Chapter XIX
Demi
Thenextevening,Istood as confidently as I could in the foyer of the lodge, wearing a vintage-inspired sundress in pale-red gingham, tied at the shoulders, with a flared skirt that swished when I walked, waiting for my “besties” to join me.
Every camera and every eye was on me as if waiting to see what I would do next. Waiting for me to defy their expectations, whether about my wardrobe choices or my character arc. I’d changed the game on them, and they didn’t appear to know what to think. Some of them feared me, while others thought I was a loose cannon, and not in the way they’d hoped. They wanted the Wicked Witch, and instead I’d become Glinda.
Believe me, I was just as confused about myself as they were. This wasn’t my plan. Not that I’d had one to begin with, other than not making a fool of myself in front of the entire world. The jury was still out on whether I was succeeding on that front. Especially now that I wasn’t in theLove Unscriptedcrew’s good graces. Jazzy was no longer fawning over me and telling me this was going to be the best season yet. I wasn’t her star anymore.
No doubt Tasha, their social media specialist, was just waiting for me to slip up on camera so she could crucify me in each week’s promos.
I probably should have thought all this through before I’d declared myself everyone’s best friend and promised to find love for them. But after the fireside chat the night before, I was more determined than ever to make good on that promise.
I could do it, right?
Half of me sure thought so. She’d never been happier, and she couldn’t wait for me to unleash her full potential. Although it bummed her out that Roman had been keeping his distance. Oh, he’d been around, but only in his role as executive producer and host. No more running with me in the mornings or tossing pebbles at my head in the middle of the night like we were in some tragic rom-com.
I didn’t know why she was so upset. It’s not like we’d seen him all that often before this ridiculous quest. But she was pining for him. Badly. Even though he was none too happy with me. He also wasn’t all that happy with himself—he hated that he had the urge to fix things between us. I wished I couldn’t read people’s feelings and desires. Especially now, when I was already confused about whether my goddess had lied to me about him being my soulmate. It was really messing with my head.
Cassie was trying, but so far she’d found nothing to suggest my divine side could be wrong about something so important.
