“Holy shit,” Geri said.
“Holy shit is right,” I replied.“Because now we have to go to Fairyland to get them back.”
1
We’ve got to dowhat?”Jarvis asked, a curtain of sobriety falling over his face.
“We’ve got to go to Fairyland to get everybody back,” I repeated.
“What do you mean, Fairyland?”Jarvis asked.
“Dude, did you not hear the stripper last night call Bubba a Prince of Faerie?”Skeeter asked.
Jarvis looked baffled, which was only slightly different from him looking still a little drunk, which is how he’d looked until ten seconds ago.“Yeah, I heard that, but I thought she was talking about him having a gay dude for a best friend.Like an ally, or something.”
I snorted, and Ash, the nonbinary stagehand for the wedding venue, laughed out loud.“No, Jarvis, my grandmother is Mab, Queen of the Winter Court of Faerie.My grandfather is Oberon, the Summer King.I’m only part fairy, but I am technically a descendant of royalty.”
Jarvis’s eyes got really wide, and he looked at Skeeter.“Are you a fairy, too?”
“Not in the magical sense,” he replied.“Just in the light in my loafers and sleeps with dudes sense.”
“What about you?”he asked Geri, who snorted in reply.
“Totally human, bro,” she said.
He turned to Barry.And looked up.Alot.“And…what are you?”Jarvis asked.
“I am a Sasquatch,” Barry said.“I believe your people also refer to us as Bigfoot.”
“Holy shit,” Jarvis said, staggering a little.I grabbed him under his arms and laid him down on the grass, making sure he didn’t hit his head on anything.
“Imagine what he’d say if we told him about me,” Harker said.
I turned to the demon-hunting wizard.“I thought you were bringing a bunch of people?”He’d gotten out of his Suburban alone, and now that I knew my faerie grandparents were involved, I wanted as much magical firepower as I could muster.
“They got called away on a case,” he said.“I was the only one who could come.”
“The cat got called in on the case, too?”I asked.
“Nah, Luke’s looking after Nameless.They’ve…bonded.”
“So why didn’t you go?”Geri asked.
“I dunno,” Harker replied.“Becks said something about wanting a more subtle approach.I guess I’m a little too much of ‘I didn’t ask how big the room was, I said I cast fireball’ type.”
I could see that.I’m not known for having a delicate touch, but Harker was the kind of guy who finds a locked door and blows up the entire building just to find out what’s on the other side.I kept staring at the mushrooms, and the anger inside just kept growing.
Mab.My psychotic grandmother, who hadn’t even known I was alive for the first three decades and change of my life, had the audacity to screw up the most important day of my life.Thiswas the kind of thing that made people grow up and slaughter their families.Okay, that thought hit a little close to home for the guy who offed both his kid brotherandhis dad, but they were both psychos, so I think I get a pass.
“Harker, I need you to open a portal for us,” I said.“Soon as we arm up, we’re going after them.”
He looked up at me, a little chagrined.“Umm…no can do, big guy,” he said.
“What do you mean, no can do?”I asked.
“Yeah, aren’t you some kind of big deal wizard, Harker?”Geri asked.
“Wizard?”Jarvis asked from the grass.I looked over and he was still lying flat, but he lifted his head up to speak.When he saw no one was joking, he just dropped his noggin’ back to the turf.
