Nix: Is that a hmm of agreement?
Blue: I may be an iceberg, but you’re a chimera.
Nix: The monster in Greek mythology that had three heads?
Blue: Yes. A lion, a goat, and a snake. You show the lion on the ice, and the goat to everyone else, but the quiet, cunning snake is always watching. Waiting. Seeing everything. Poised to take advantage of the fact that people assume you’re a harmless, friendly goat when the need arises.
Nix: I don’t know whether to be offended or…appreciative. Though I’m honestly not sure what I’m appreciating.
Blue: It’s always good to be seen for who we really are.
Nix: It is. But just like the iceberg is made of the same stuff, all the heads are attached to the same body. They share the same heart. I’m not a bad man, either.
Blue: No, you’re not. But you could exercise more restraint, on and off the ice. It would be good for you.
Nix: I’m working on it. Being with Charlotte has already helped a lot. Like you said, it’s good to be seen. She sees me, and I know she’ll help me make smart decisions. But she’s at risk, too. Or could be. She and Makena, and one of their friends, who did ten years in the Air Force, are going to Mobile with Bea on Saturday. They were planning to be backstage during the concert and stay at the hotel with her on Saturday night, just so she’s never alone with Kai. But now I’m not sure if any of them will be safe, even if they’re not alone.
Blue: No, I think that sounds like a perfect plan. He’s a coward. He doesn’t have the balls to take on four grown women. I think they’ll be fine. I’m relieved to hear this and feel good about it. I think you should, too.
Nix: Okay, maybe I will, ONCE YOU STOP DANCING AROUND THE SUBJECT AND TELL ME WHAT HE FUCKING DID ALREADY.
Blue: You won’t like it. I think you’d be better off not knowing, too. Just let me carry this for your family. I can handle it, and I’m happy to do it.
Nix: That’s very generous, Blue, but no. I’m not the kind of person who finds ignorance even a little blissful.
Blue: All right. His name isn’t Kai. It’s Henry James Killian. If that doesn’t sound familiar, search the name in conjunction with Nebraska, fifteen years ago. You’ll find everything you never wanted to know in black and white.
Eighteen
NIX
Fifteen minutes later, I want to throw up.
I want to throw up, brush my teeth, then charge out to the living room to tell Beatrice that she’s never leaving this apartment.
At least not any time soon, not while that fucking monster she dated is still on the loose, sending threatening emails and plotting the strings he’ll pull to get her back. To get her back or maybe make sure that if she’s not happy with him, she’s not going to be happy with anyone.
Ever again.
Another wave of nausea roils through me, making sweat break out on my upper lip as I pace back and forth in front of my bed. Charlotte came to check on me a few minutes ago. I sent her away with a joke about my delicate constitution and all the nachos I ate with dinner, but I’m on borrowed time.
Sooner or later, I’m going to have to go back out there, and Charlotte will see that something’s wrong in a hot second. Bea will probably see it, too, but Charlotte might as well have X-ray vision where I’m concerned. I can’t hide anything from her.
Usually, I don’twantto hide anything, but now…
I can’t let her or Bea go to that concert. Fuck the fans. Fuck the contracts Bea signed with the band. Let the venue sue. Her safety is more important than any contract, and she’s not safe with Kai.
She’sneverbeen safe with Kai.
She dated him for over ten years, and he didn’t hit her until recently.
Yes, he was always a manipulative, controlling piece of shit, but maybe he’s not as dangerous as you think. Maybe the crazy, violent thing he did as a teenager scared him, at least enough to ensure he keeps his nose relatively clean.
A lot of “normal” guys trash hotel rooms, get DUIs, and knock their girlfriends around. It doesn’t make it right, but it doesn’t make them a budding killer waiting for the perfect moment to bloom. He might hate that he’s losing Bea, but he loves his life.
He loves the fame and the money and the attention he gets as the lead guitarist of Violet Widow way too much to do anything to put that at risk.
“But it’s already at risk,” I mutter as I pace faster, the sight of the sun sliding behind the skyline outside my window feeling like an omen.
