“Wouldn’t matter if I did,” I say. “Her dad’s my agent, and he made it very clear that I was to stay away from her.”
“Interesting.” McCabe takes a sip of his beer, and his gaze moves past me. His lips curve up into the smallest of smiles, letting me know, without having to look for myself, that he’s just seen AJ.
A part of me wants what they have. That trust, the steady confidence in their relationship, the professional respect that’s morphed into something much deeper. The rest of me is terrified of having that, and losing it. I didn’t realize how fucking scared I was of being hurt, until I finally allowed someone in.
Almost from the minute Morgan was in my life, I knew the potential was there for her to bethe one.The more time I spent with her, the more those suspicions were confirmed. I miss her like hell and I know I’m an idiot for letting her go. But I can’t shake the genuine fear that if I put my whole heart and my whole self into a relationship with her, I’ll never get over it if it ends.
Then again, how would that be any different than the way I gave her all the emotional support she was looking for in a relationship, before ripping it away from her?
It feels like all I did was hurt us both in a quest to protect myself.Fuck, I’ve made a mess of things.The worst part is, I want to fix it, but I don’t know how.
“You know,” McCabe continues. “Thereareother agents in this business.”
“I’ve been with Carson for my entire career,” I remind him. “You don’t leave your agent in a contract year...”Even if you’re in love with his daughter.
Oh shit, that’s it, isn’t it? I’m in love with her. And yet I just hurt her way more than that douche, Carter, ever did.
“I got a new agent in June,” he says. That would have been during the playoffs, right before his free agency period began. Which means his stellar new contract wasn’t negotiated by Trevor, his agent last I knew.
“You did?”
“Yeah, Trevor was fucking me over. So I talked to Jameson Flynn, and he got me the best contract I’ve ever had. If youdohave feelings for Morgan, and you worry they will impact your professional relationship with Carson, maybe you should talk to Jameson too.”
“Leaving Carson without giving him a chance to be okay with this feels wrong.”
“So youdohave feelings for her.” It’s a confirmation, not a question.
“I don’t know.”
“Of course you do. And the sooner you deal with whatever’s holding you back, the better. If you want to be with Morgan, and Carson is what’s holding you back, why don’t you go talk to him about it? If he’s a dick about it, which, knowing him, you should probably expect, then reach out to Jameson.”
“It’s hard to imagine moving forward with Morgan if her dad is staunchly opposed to it. They’re pretty close.”
“I bet he’d come around eventually, if he saw that you were good for each other. In the meantime, I could put in a good word for you with Jameson.”
I cock my head slightly, surprised by his offer. “You’d do that, after I ghosted you all last year?”
“You had shit going on, and so did I.” He pauses, then adds, “I think we both came back as better people this year.”
I cough out a laugh, thinking about how different we both are now, compared to two seasons ago. “I don’t know,” I say, drawing out the words slowly. “You’re still kind of surly.”
“And you’re still kind of an asshole. But less so... when she’s around,” he nods his chin toward Morgan right as her date stands and comes around the table to her chair. He raises his hand, slipping it along her neck, and I notice the way her spine stiffens slightly. But I don’t think he notices, because he’s leaning in to kiss her.
I can’t quite tell from where I’m standing, but I think she tucks her chin so his lips meet her forehead, and then I have to look away because my entire body floods with rage at the sight of someone else touching her. The only forehead kisses she should be getting are from me.
“Go get your girl,” McCabe says. When I look back, the guy is headed toward the door and Morgan is finishing her drink. “Before it’s too late.”
My stomach flips over as I stalk across the bar toward her. By the time I get to the table, she’s gotten her jacket on and is slinging her bag over her shoulder. She startles when I appear at her side, and that’s when I realize that while I’ve been entirely focused on her for the last hour, she wasn’t even aware I was here.
Her lips twist into a grimace, and she narrows her big blue eyes before she says, “Aidan,pleasestop showing up where you know I’ll be.”
“Then stop trying to make me jealous.”
“I’m not trying to make you jealous!” she says, then lets out a frustrated sigh. Her full lips part as she lets out a long breath. I immediately want to pull her into my arms, press a kiss to the crown of her head, and promise her things I haven’t promised anyone in a decade. “I’mtryingto move on.”
Her words are a sharp slap that bring me back to reality. And the reality is, I hurt her to protect myself.
“Well, stop that, too,” I demand, even though I have no business telling her what to do.
