Lauren winds some pasta around her fork as she asks, “What type of an agreement?”
I explain how we got into this situation in the first place, and how, of course, I still started having feelings I shouldn’t have let myself develop.
“Nothing about what you’ve described sounds like it’s not an actual, serious relationship,” Eva says. “Are you sure you’re not just lying to yourself to protect your heart... kind of like I was doing with Luke?”
“Right, but everyone knew Luke was madly in love with you,” I say, shaking my head at her. “It was the most obvious thing in the world.”
“And everythingyou’vedescribed,” Lauren says, “sounds like Aidan’s in love with you.”
I bark out a laugh. “Right, except for the part where he’s told me over and over that he doesn’t want a relationship.”
“Be that as it may,” Paige says, “itdoessound like he has actual feelings.”
My stupid, hopeful heart feels like it flips over in my chest. And then I realize that of course it sounds that way, becauseI’ve told them how he makesmefeel. The conclusion they easily jump to is the same one I drew: that he must have real feelings, or he wouldn’t be doing half the things he’s done. But that doesn’t mean it’s actually the case.
“I think the worst thing is, part of our whole arrangement was so that I could practice keeping things casual. But all this situation has made me realize is that a casual relationship isn’t what I want—especially not with him.”
“Sounds like you two need to have an honest conversation,” Eva says.
“My how the tables have turned,” I say with a laugh, thinking about how I said the exact same thing to her at the beginning of the summer.
“You were rightthen, and I’m rightnow. You have to tell him how you feel, Morgan.”
“You can’t keep pretending like you’re okay with keeping things the way they are if you actually want more,” Lauren says. “That’s a recipe for getting hurt.”
“It’s going to hurt either way,” I say, pushing the last pieces of my dinner around with my fork. I hate the lose-lose situation I’m in. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a side of Aidan Renaud that no one else has ever seen. And instead of getting to nurture that part of our relationship, I have to say goodbye to the best guy I’ve ever had in my life.
“Better to rip the Band-Aid off then, no?” Paige asks.
I let out a defeated sigh. “Yeah, probably.”
Chapter Forty
AIDAN
“No fucking way,” Colt says with a laugh when Walsh tells us that his wife, Marissa, is pregnant again. “I bet it’s a girl. God, Walshy, you dealing with four girls under six would be the best thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Itisanother girl. But, there’s more,” Walsh says, his voice grim. McCabe, Colt, and I look at him, all traces of laughter gone. Around us, The Neon Cactus is hopping, but the mood at our table is suddenly somber. “She’s almost five months along, but we didn’t know she was pregnant until a few weeks ago because she has an IUD and not having a period is a fairly typical response.”
“So... how’d she get pregnant, then?” McCabe asks.
“That’s the thing. Somehow, the IUD perforated her uterine wall.”
“That doesn’t sound good,” I say. “So... where is it?”
“Right now it’s just kind of hanging out outside her uterus, but there are so many possible complications.” Walsh swallows, and I can tell by the way his eyes water and his nose gets red that he’s pushing down a lot of emotions right now. “There’s a risk it might puncture another organ or cause an infection that couldlead to pelvic inflammatory disease. It also results in a higher risk of miscarriage or premature delivery.”
Patrick and Marissa Walsh are a Boston institution, beloved by the fans and near royalty in this city that loves its sports teams. He’s never played anywhere else,and has always said he’s retiring with a Rebels jersey on. They’re the most happily married couple I’ve ever known, and are currently raising three beautiful little girls together. They don’t deserve this... not that anyone does.
“Shit, man,” Colt says. “What can they do to minimize those risks? Can they take the IUD out?”
“Not without risking her losing the baby.”
“What about Marissa?” I ask. “Doesn’t leaving the IUD in riskherhealth?”
Walsh closes his eyes, taking a deep breath before he opens them again. “Yeah. Exactly. It’s a no-win situation.”
“So what are the doctors recommending?” McCabe asks.
