“All right, you two,” the cab driver says as he pulls into the hotel’s drop-off area, only a few blocks from the bar. “Here you are.”
“Thanks,” Morgan says, reaching for the door handle as I tap the card reader to pay for the ride. She hustles out of the car and walks into the hotel like she’s trying to escape having this conversation. When I get to the bank of elevators, she’s notthere, but the doors are just starting to close on the one in the middle. Hoping it’s her, I reach out and wave my arm between the doors. I don’t miss the way she sighs and crosses her arms across her abdomen as I stride in.
I decide to ask the question I’ve been wondering about. “Are you trying to make me jealous?”
“Why would I be trying to make you jealous?” Her tone is defensive. Not like I’ve hit too close to the truth, more like she’s offended I’d make the suggestion in the first place.
“I don’t know, Morgan. For the same reason you wore McCabe’s jersey a couple weeks ago?”
“That was not about you. And neither was this.”
“Bythisyou mean having a drink with another guy right in front of me? You sure? Because it certainly seems like you’re trying to keep my attention.”
“I don’t play games, Aidan, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t either.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I’m not sure what games she thinks I’m playing here.
“It means I don’t want these ups and downs!” Her voice is a lot less calm than before. “That guy introduced himself before the game, and AJ mentioned where we’d be afterward. He said he couldn’t come, and I wasn't expecting to see him there. I wasn’t trying to have a drink with another guy right in front of you?—”
“Oh, just behind my back?”
“Youdon’t get to be jealous about this. You’re the one who wants to keep this casual and told me I should feel free to see other guys.”
“Does that mean youdon’twant to keep this casual?” I ask, stepping closer as the elevator bell announces our arrival at her floor. I don’t know why I’m itching for a fight... probably because I just had to watch her at the bar with another guy.
She raises her hand to tuck a piece of hair that’s fallen in her face back behind her ear as she sighs. “Iknowwhat we agreed to, Aidan. I’m not asking for more.”
The elevator doors open, and when she steps out, I follow her as she speed walks down the hallway to her room. I reach out and grasp her elbow as she stops in front of her door, and as she turns toward me she stumbles, pressing her hands into my chest as she looks up at me.
“You’re not asking for more because that’s not what you want? Or because you don’t want to break our agreement? Or something else?” I ask the questions slowly, careful to give her options.
My heart races hopefully, thrilled at the idea that she would want me to stick around, want somethingrealwith me, even while the logical side of my brain reminds me that it’s not possible. I don’t want to be a wedge between her and her father, and she deserves someone better than me. Someone who knows what they want and isn’t so damn afraid of being hurt.
“Fuck if I know,” she says, clearly exasperated. “All I know is that this doesn’t feel casual.” She turns and taps her key card against the door, and I reach past her to push it open, guiding her into the room with my hand on her lower back.
“Why are you in my room?” she mutters as she taps the button on the wall that turns on the lights hanging on either side of the bed.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because you’re confusing the hell out of me,” she says, annoyance ringing out. “You don’t want to be apart from me, but you also don’t want to commit.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that Ican’t.”
“This is all getting really repetitive. Either this isn’t serious, or it is. But you can’t say one thing and act differently. What the hell is it thatyouwant Aidan?”
“I want you—” My words are cut off as we step toward each other, our mouths crashing together. This isn’t the gentle kiss of two lovers sneaking away to their hotel room together. It’s desperation and passion. Two people who know it can’t work out between them, but aren’t quite ready to let go.
So don’t let go. Thoughts of me and Morgan in an actual relationship have been plaguing me since we left Ember Cover two weeks ago. I can’t stop picturing what we could have if I’d just stop holding back. I also can’t stop imagining the devastation I’ll feel when she realizes I’mnotwhat she wants and leaves me. It’s not rational, I know that, but I can’t get over the fear of losing her. The only thing I can do is protect myself by not letting this go any further than it has.
“I need you,” Morgan mumbles. “Now.” The last word is desperate and pleading as her hands slip along my shoulders between my shirt and sports coat, dragging it down my arms until it falls to the ground. Then she pushes up on her toes, her mouth meeting mine again with such ferocity it feels like she’s trying to devour me.
Our clothes are shed quickly, littered around the floor as we move toward her bed without breaking apart from each other. Then I turn and sit at the end, pulling her down onto my lap so her knees are spread on either side of me. She slides herself along my hard length, circling her clit against the head of my cock every time she rises up. My hands and mouth are everywhere—her neck, her collarbones, her breasts—as she takes the condom from me and rolls it down my shaft. She moans when I suck her nipple into my mouth, and I move my hands to her hips, my fingers splayed across her ass as I position her right over the top of me. Then I’m the one moaning as she sinks down fast and hard.
She rises and then slides back down on me quickly, taking me deep, over and over, but her eyes never leave mine. Then shewraps one arm around my shoulders, holding our bodies tightly together like she’s trying to memorize the way our bodies fit together.
One of her hands slips between us, the backs of her knuckles pressing into my abdomen as her finger circles her clit. She’s chasing her orgasm, and I can tell by the way her lips part, her breathing speeds up, and her eyes become half lidded that she’s close.
And then, she whispers, “Yes, oh my god, Aidan, yes,” while her inner walls throb against my dick, and she reaches her other hand behind her and toys with my balls.
