I regret that text the minute I send it, but she starts to respond before I can unsend it, so I know she’s seen it.
I don’t want someone else. I only want her.But we’re supposed to be keeping this casual. It’s how we ensure neither of us gets hurt. It would be wrong for me to switch things up, especially because we can’t be together in the long term, and the last thing I want to do is hurt her.
NerdGirl
That choice is really up to you, isn’t it?
I can hear the snark in her tone even through text, so I hit the button to start a video call instead. It rings enough times that I’m initially afraid she isn’t going to answer, but she eventually accepts the call.
“Yes?” Her tone is dismissive, which is probably what I deserve after that message.
“I’m sorry.” I sigh as I sink back into my couch cushions.
“For what?” She pulls her hair back, winding it into a bun that she secures on top of her head. She’s in a tank top, and I think her laptop must be open on her thighs with her phone propped up on it.
“For making you feel like you were replaceable. That isn’t what I meant. I...” I don’t even know what I want to say next.
“You . . . ?”
I run my hand through my hair and sigh. “I don’t know what we’re doing here.”
“Yeah. Me either.”
“I just wanted to see you.”
She gives me a shrug and a sarcastic smile. “Well, here I am.”
“I’d like it a whole lot better if you werehere.”
“If you’re so desperate to have me around, maybe you should come over here?”
I sigh again, feeling like I’m fucking everything up. “I can’t. McCabe is picking me up early and I’m riding to the airport with him and AJ.”
“I didn’t hear myself asking you to spend the night.”
I huff a laugh. “We both know what will happen if I come over.”
“Well, you’d best stay there then. I have so much work to do and now I have to pack, since apparently I’m going to Washington tomorrow.” She doesn’t sound happy about that, so I try not to let her see how excited this news makes me. The chance for more time with her is always a good thing in my book.
“Any word on whether Natalie’s going to come back? Or are they going to replace her so you don’t have to be at every game?” I see how overworked she is. Even last weekend in Ember Cove she was working while I went on my run, and then we had to head back to Boston that night so she could help fix the crisis Natalie created. It makes me wonder when she ever has time to rest.
“I’m not sure, but I can’t keep doing this. I was at Lauren and Jameson’s all morning with the twins because I’d promised to babysit so they could go to brunch with Jameson’s college roommate and his wife who were in town for the weekend. And then what was supposed to be a quick phone call with AJ this afternoon somehow turned into me flying to Washington with you guys tomorrow.”
She sighs wearily, and her eyes close as she leans her head back against the top of the couch cushions. I wish there was something I could do to help lighten her load, but I also wonder why she offers or agrees to do things for other people when she already has so much on her plate.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
She opens her eyes and looks back at the screen. “Yeah. Don’t do anything stupid that would require me to travel with the team beyond the game against Washington.”
“Ididn’t do anything?—”
“This time,” she interrupts.
“I told you I’d be a very good boy if you reward me,” I say with a wink.
She rolls her eyes, but her face lights up with the smile she’s failed to hold back. “I think you’re confusing yourself with a dog.”
“I think you’ll find that with the right kind of rewards, I’mverytrainable.”
