“That’s a terrible thing to have experienced,” Morgan says, reaching her hand across the table and wrapping it around one of mine.
“Yeah. So I moved to Minnesota alone. I was in a funk, and I couldn’t pull myself out of it. Eventually my coach recognized what was happening and stepped in. He made sure I got the help I needed—a therapist to talk through things with, and plenty of time with my new teammates so I didn’t feel alone. He was basically another dad to me. He wouldn’t take no for an answer when I tried to shut down. He pushed me but also supported me. His family became like a second family for me. I...” I gulp through the memories. “Not every coach would do something like that, and I don’t know what would have happened if he hadn’t stepped in. I definitely would have lost my NHL contract.”
“So losing Hayley and the baby the way you did was what made you so afraid of a relationship?” she clarifies.
“I never wanted to give anyone that kind of power over me again. I lost the family I thought we were going to be, and I almost lost my dream of playing hockey professionally. Not letting anyone close enough to hurt me like that again became my number one priority when it came to relationships.”
“I get that,” she says, squeezing my hand before she pulls away.
“Because?”
She lets out the kind of silent laugh that shakes her chest slightly, and rolls her eyes. “I’m starting to think that maybe I’ve subconsciously chosen guys who have obvious red flags because then, when they eventually do something shitty and break things off, I can refer back to those red flags as reasons they would have been a terrible partner. I’d rather think I was lucky to escape when I did, than think thatI’munlovable,” she says, looking down at the table.
I reach across the space, cupping her jaw in my palm and lifting her chin so that she’s looking at me. “You deserve to be loved for exactly who you are, because loving you is not hard, no matter what you’ve been led to believe. In fact, loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. So easy that I can’t make myself stop, no matter how hard I try.”
Her throat bobs as she swallows, and her eyes widen. “Did you just say what I think you said?”
“That I’m in love with you? Yes. And I want everyone to know it.”
“What about my dad, and your contract negotiations?”
I give her a sly smile. “I already got his blessing. How do you think I knew where you’d be tonight?”
She laughs in response, and finally seeing her smile has me relaxing in a way I haven’t been able to since I let her walk away from me that night in front of my house. “No wonder he asked where Sean was taking me tonight.”
I clear my throat. “Let’s agree that we’re not going to talk about other men you’ve been with. I’ve met too many of them already.”
“First of all, I wasn’twithSean?—”
“Whatever,” I interrupt. “I don’t want to think of you with anyone but me.”
She just shakes her head at me. “And secondly, your jealousy and refusal to talk about past partners are both signs of emotional immaturity. I swear, you’re a walking red flag, Aidan Renaud.”
Just the kind she says she always falls for.
“Yeah, but I’myourred flag. And I’ll work on all of that...the jealousy, and being more open to talking about the past so we make sure not to repeat those mistakes with each other. Whatever you need from me, Morgan, that’s what I want to give you.”
“You already have. That’s what I told you that night. You showed me what it felt like to be accepted and supported unconditionally?—”
“Yes, but you need to know that this isn’t just meacceptingyou as you are. These last two weeks without you, it was like part of my soul was missing. I crave your company, and the way you make me want to be a better version of myself.”
“This is... a lot to process, Aidan.” She lets her hand slip off mine. “Letting you back in after you pushed me away feels like a familiar pattern that I promised myself I’d avoid moving forward. At the end of the summer, AJ reminded me that when people show you who they are, you need to believe them.”
“And what did I show you?” I ask the question with genuine curiosity, and also trepidation about her reply.
She sighs. “On the one hand, you showed me how I should be treated in a relationship. On the other hand, you played a bunch of fucking mind games, insisting that you didn’t have feelings for me and pushing me away when I admitted I wanted more than friends with benefits.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but the reality is that I was thinking more about my own feelings than yours. And that won’t happen again.”
“I’m trying to wrap my mind around this complete one-eighty from not wanting a relationship. Because it sure sounds like you do, now?”
“I don’t want a relationship, Morgan. I wantforever, and I want it with you.”
“How can I trust that you’re not just going to turn and run again?”
“I think the last two weeks taught me what Liam was trying to make me see back when we were in Ember Cove: that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I know that sounds cheesy, but while we were apart, I never once regretted us being together, no matter how badly it hurt to be without you. I only regretted letting you go.”
I pick up her hand, sliding the narrow strip of paper from the straw beneath her ring finger before carefully looping the paper around itself to tie it into a knot on top of her finger.
