“So, London’s treating you alright then?”
She smiles softly, looking out at the mountains.
“It is.Chaotic, but good.I feel like I’m finally finding my place,” she pauses, looking down at her hands, the way she always does when she gets shy.“But I wouldn’t even be there if it wasn’t for you.”
“What do you?—”
“I know it was you who submitted my application for that scholarship program Nate.They told me and by they, I mean your Mom.”
I stay quite admiring the colours of the morning sky.
“You never said anything.”
“I didn’t need to.You earned it.”
She smiles softly.“Your turn, what brought you to Barcelona then?”
“I’ve been touring with this band—Midnights.We played our final show last night and went out to celebrate.There’s talks about us touring internationally next year.”
“Holy shit!Nate, that’s incredible.”
When she touches my arm, it’s like electricity snaps straight through me.
Her touch still does that—undoes me.
I swallow and try to keep my composure.
“It’s cool I guess.They want me to stick around and help write the next album.”
“You were always too humble for your own good.”She says with a teasing smirk.
More silence stretches between us, and I realize I've been gifted this time with her—away from the noise and complications of real life—and I want to hold onto it for as long as I can.I want to memorize the way she looks in the morning light, the way she breathes when she's thinking, the way she exists in the world.
“Truth or dare?"she asks suddenly, breaking the quiet.
I almost laugh at the randomness of the question.
"What?"
"Come on.Truth or dare?"
"Truth," I say, because I'm tired of running from it.
"Why didn’t you reply?"
Her question cuts through the peace like a blade.I've been expecting it, dreading it, but that doesn't make it easier to hear.
You going to tell her how much you hated yourself after everything that happened?
The shadow voice slips in, oily and familiar, sounding exactly like it did the years it ruled me—mocking, precise.
Go on.Confess.You drowned like a coward and let her watch herself bleed because of you.
"How much do you know about what happened after the accident?"I ask instead of answering directly.
"Well, everyone treated me like I was made of glass.Which made everything so much worse when I woke up because all I knew was the accident happened, I was in a coma and you were gone."
I take a deep breath, trying to find the words.
