One thousand and sixty-five.One thousand and sixty-six.
I count until the numbers lose all meaning, until they're just sounds in my head, until the anger fades back into that blessed emptiness.
CHAPTER34
TIME HEALS EVERYTHING
NORA
I closemy eyes and let the tears fall freely down my cheeks as Mom carefully unwraps the bandages around my arm.The burn from the fire throbs with each layer she peels away, but it’s nothing compared to the ache in my chest that’s been there for days now.
I hadn’t even realized I’d been burned that night.
Not until hours later, when the adrenaline crashed and Jay noticed the blistering on my arm.At the time, all I could think about was getting to Nate and Jake.I remember screaming their names, clawing through debris with bare hands, the heat licking at my skin, but I didn’t feel it.
Pain didn’t stand a chance against fear.
The gauze sticks to my skin in places, and I wince as she works it free.
“I know it hurts, sweetheart,” Mom says softly, her voice carrying that gentle wisdom she’s always had.“I’m almost done.”
I hold back more tears, not sure how I even have any left.
Mom looks at me with loving eyes, ones that haven’t slept much either since the fire.
“Sometimes the healing hurts more than the original injury.But that’s how we know it’s working.”
I nod, though my throat feels too tight to speak.
“How’s Nate?”I finally manage to ask, though I’m not sure I want to know the answer.
Mom’s hands still for a moment.She’s never been one to sugarcoat things, not with me.
“He’s not doing great.Jake’s death, finding out about Scott not being his biological father...it’s a lot for anyone to process.”
“He doesn’t want to see me,” I whisper, and the admission feels like swallowing glass.
Mom starts wrapping fresh gauze around my arm, her movements deliberate and careful.
“You have to give him time, Nora.Not only is Jake gone, but everything he thought he knew about his family, about himself, it’s all been turned upside down.”
She shakes her head, talking more to herself than to me.
“I can’t believe I didn’t pick up on it after all these years.”
The dam I’ve been holding back finally breaks.
“Mom, I’m scared he’s slipping away and I can’t reach him,” I sob, the words tumbling out in a rush.“I’m scared that after everything he’s been through, he’s just going to shut me and everyone out completely.”
Mom sets down the medical supplies and turns to face me fully.
“He’s hurting, Nora.Nate is like a wounded animal right now—he needs time and space to tend to his own wounds before he can emerge from hiding.”
“But he doesn’t even want to see me.”My voice cracks on the last word.
Mom pulls me into her arms, and I collapse against her shoulder, letting the tears come.
“That boy loves you so much,” she murmurs into my hair.“Sometimes I think he doesn’t know what to do with it.”
