She knows that I know.
The secret she's been carrying, the lie that's been eating at her—it's written all over my face.
"Nate, honey," she says, her voice breaking on the words.
Dr.Fallows stands up, his chair scraping against the floor.
"I'll leave the two of you to talk."He moves toward the door, pausing beside Mom.
"I'm sorry," he says quietly, "but he had to know there was nothing he could have done."
The door closes with a soft click, and then it's just us.
Mom and I.
The air between us is thick with twenty-one years of unspoken truth.Tears are already streaming down her face, carving paths through the makeup she probably put on to look strong for me.But there's no hiding from this.Not anymore.
She takes a step toward my bed, her hand reaching out like she's going to touch me, comfort me, make this all better with a mother's touch.
"Don't."The word comes out flat, emotionless.
Dead.
She freezes, her hand suspended in the air between us.
"Nate, please.I wanted to tell you.I was going to, I?—"
"And when the fuck were you planning to do that?"The emptiness in my chest is filling with something else now.
Something hot and sharp and dangerous.
"It's not as easy?—"
"It never fucking is with you, is it?"The fury hits me like a tidal wave, washing away the numbness and leaving something raw and burning in its place."There's always an excuse, always a reason why you can't do the right thing."
She flinches like I've slapped her, takes a step back.
Good.
She should feel something, anything, after what she's done.
The pieces are clicking together in my head now, forming a picture that makes my stomach turn.
All those years of Scott's hatred, his cruelty, the way he looked at me like I was some kind of disease he couldn't cure.The way he'd come home drunk and take his anger out on me specifically, while Jake got to hide in his room.The way he'd tell me I was worthless, that I'd never amount to anything, that I didn't belong in this family.
"This is why he could never love me," I say, the words coming out in a whisper that sounds like breaking glass."That's why he hated me so much.I wasn't even his."
Mom's face crumples, and she shakes her head frantically.
"No, Nate, that's not—Scott had his problems, but that wasn't about?—"
"Don't."The word comes out sharper this time, cutting through her bullshit excuses."Don't you dare try to defend him.Or yourself.You fucking lied to me.My whole life.You kept lying.And now you're going to stand there and tell me you had your reasons?"
She opens her mouth to say something, probably some sob story about how hard it was, how she was scared, how she was trying to protect me.
But I'm done listening to her lies.
"Get out."
